Haley
by EveyMay
Summary: ......."And so now, every time I say my baby’s name, I will think of her. I will draw from her strength and survive for my daughter"..... This is not a Bella's pregnant with Edward's baby story, it's much darker...but so freaking good and rewarding!
1. Mrs Williams

**Well, here I am starting a new story….I came up with the idea after listening to "Never Again" by Nickelback…..I am really excited about this story, and I hold it near and dear to my heart, I hope y'all like it, or even love it as much as I do. Read it and tell me what you think….I don't own all the Characters, but I did make up the ones that you don't recognize. Enjoy, and BTW I don't own the songs either; but please listen to each one before reading it's chapter….I picked each song to represent something from the chapter, whether it be some of the lyrics, or just the mood of the song, or both! **

**Haley**

**Haley Chapter 1. Mrs. Williams**

Nickel back "Never Again"

_He's drunk again, it's time to fight_

_She must have done something wrong tonight, _

_The living room become a boxing ring, _

_It's time to run when you see him clenching his hands, _

_She's just a woman_

_Never again…………….._

_Been there before, but not like this, _

_Seen it before, but not like this, _

_Never before have I ever seen it this bad, _

_She's just a woman, _

_Never again……………….._

_He's drunk again, it's time to fight, _

_Same old shit, just on a different night, _

_She grabs the gun, she's had enough, _

_Tonight she'll find out how fucking tough is this man, _

_Pulls the trigger as fast as she can, _

_Never again,_

_Seen it before, but not like this, _

_Been there before, but not like this, _

_Never before have I ever seen it this bad, _

_She's just a woman, _

_Never again!_

Mrs. Williams Pov

THWACK! CRASH! BANG! ARRGH! THWACK! BUMP! THUD!

"That poor girl, so sad…..I hope he doesn't hurt her to bad this time, I shouldn't of had him arrested this morning, but she had so much head trauma. Why don't you just leave, or press charges? You could get help in a homeless shelter, you could stay with me….." I shook my head, in pity for that poor girl in the next apartment over.

"Damn it you worthless whore, say something, I can't believe I got arrested this morning, your going to pay bitch! Cry damn it!"

"She's not going to say anything Mike!" I seethed, as I scowled at my bare white wall. He was there on the other side, beating that poor sweet girl. I always talked to him like this, even though he never heard me. I used to scream and pound on the wall, telling him to stop, or that I was going to call the cops. And I did call the cops a few times, but she never pressed any charges. I finally just stopped my tirades for her sake, he always beat her more, if I interfered. But this morning she didn't come over, and I got scared. But usually I just don't interfere.

No, I just talk to the wall, until it's over, and then I help her the best way I can, when she knocks on my door the next morning after he leaves for work. Most of the time it's just bruised eyes, arms, legs, or stomach. Other times it's a broken nose, other various broken bones, head contusions, and even once a busted spleen, and fractured pelvis.

But not matter how much he wants her to yell, or cry, or even fight back, she doesn't, she won't. She is weak and tortured in so many ways, but very strong in her love for the little baby lying in the crib behind a closed door. No, she won't yell, cry, or fight back no matter how much pain she endures. She'll just close her eyes, take the beating till it's over, and know she gave whatever comfort she could to her sleeping angel. Because even if her angel wakes up, her angel will never know, what exactly is happening on the other side of that locked door.

Isabella, moved in next door to me four years ago. She was a pretty young thing, quite smart too, but you could just tell by looking in her eyes, that she was broken. It was the first thing I noticed, when I met her the first day they moved in.

Being the good natured southern woman I am, I baked them a pie and went next door to welcome, the young couple. I sat down across from them at their kitchen table, as Mike, told me their story, or at least the version he wants people to know.

Bella and him, where high school sweethearts, and had been given the opportunity to open up the new corporate store of Newton Outfitters. Apparently, his parents own a small family business, and had built it up so much, they where able to market it as a franchise. Mike and Bella agreed to move to Alaska and attend college, while overseeing the new flagship store.

Also according to Mike, they where engaged to be married and awaiting a new addition to the family, and thus, Bella was going to be unable to attend college now. He continued to drawl on about himself, and his stores; I just nodded when I thought it was appropriate, but, watched Bella. Her eyes where haunted with deep lying sadness, and her emotionless face, made me feel as if she didn't care where she was, or what she was doing, she didn't care if she was dead or alive. The only emotion she ever showed was a small smile towards me, and the twinkle of love in her eyes, whenever the baby was mentioned.

The months before the baby came, were relatively quiet. A couple times, I would hear Mike berate her about something, pertaining to the baby, and his dinner. He constantly was talking to her, telling her she was worthless, and lucky to have him. His favorite line to use was "no one wants you….you know its true…you were too ugly for him, for anyone, your lucky I took pity on you". I began to get concerned because as the months continued, the more hateful and loud he would get with her, especially if she would say something back to him.

The week that the baby came home from the hospital, Mike became violent. And that was the first time I called the cops. He was arrested, and Bella refused to press charges, so he was only held overnight. That night I made it my mission to talk her into leaving him.

"Bella sweetheart, just leave him, you are better than this" I said sweetly as I cleaned the blood from her pale face.

"Mrs. Williams you don't understand…..I have nobody" She cried.

"What about your parents Bella, you could call them"

"No…no I can't" she said sadly.

"Bella……will you…will you tell me the real story? Not the sugary sweet and egotistical story Mike gave me? The true story, the story that would explain the dead look in your eyes, the story of why the baby looks like neither Mike or really….you?" I pleaded. She took a deep breath and started.

"Don't judge me please, and never mention ANYTHING or ANYONE I mention…ok? Because if Mike knows you know, well…we both know what will happen" She grimaced.

"I was in love once. The soul mate, can't breath until he's beside you, kinda love" She smiled, as her eyes filled with tears.

"His name was Edward and I met him my junior year of high school. See, I was born in forks, but my mother Renee left my father Charlie, when I was very young, to phoenix. My mother eventually remarried and after a couple years, her husband wanted to travel for his job. So, I chose to move in with my dad, for the rest of my high school years. I met Edward shortly after and we fell passionately in love. Mike of course was jealous of Edward and hated him severely. Edward left me heartbroken and catatonic early in my senior year. I don't wont to go into that, but it destroyed me. I no longer had a reason to breathe, to live, to exist. Mike and my friend Jake where interested in dating me, but after a date gone wrong, my friend Jake refused to talk to me anymore. I really never like Mike, in that way, but my father was very distraught from my earlier melt down. So to act as normal as I could for him, I began to date Mike. He was sweet and was one that was interested in a mental heartfelt relationship. We continued to date, and he became very possessive. Two months into our relationship my father Charlie was tragically killed in the line of duty. That was the day I officially didn't care to live anymore. The Newton's offered me their home, and I accepted, because really…I didn't care either way, I probably would have lived on the streets, if I had to. After Charlie's death, life really meant nothing to me, so I didn't make decisions, I just…….floated through each day That's when Mike began to mentally abuse me, but I was already beyond help, that it didn't really worsen my depression. Mike made the decision that we were going to get married right after graduation. His parents had offered him the flagship store and he planned our new life together. They were so proud of their son, he was going to go to college, run their new store, and had the 'prettiest' girl in high school as his fiancé" She rolled her eyes, the only emotion she had shown so far. She continued on in her bored monotone voice, that had kicked in once Edward had left the story.

"That's the only reason he keeps me around you know, because he doesn't want to disappoint them. Anyways….we were supposed to leave the day after graduation, and head here, but those plans change the night, Mike sent me to Port Angeles to pick up some things he had ordered, and that's when it happened. I was cornered by five college guys and drug into a dark alley, where they each took a turn at me. I was found later by a pedestrian and rushed to the emergency room. The men were never found, and Mike blamed me for what happened. That's when the metal and slight physical abuse amped up. He was embarrassed to have a pregnant rape victim as a fiancé, especially one who refused to give the bastard child up. So he used my current emotional state, to pull a few strings and technically get us to graduate a full two months before the actual graduation date. And That's when we moved here, he decided I wasn't going to attend college, or get a job. The only job I had was to be his personal blowup doll, and punching bag. It wasn't until she was born that shit hit the fan. Mike had refused to marry me once we arrived here, since he thought I didn't deserve to bear his last name, however when she was born he purposely missed her birth and ended up signing the birth certificate before he saw her. As you notice she look nothing like Mike and I, but she carries a strikingly odd resemblance to someone………Edward." She smiled down at the sleeping child in her arms.

"That's just terrifyingly sad Bella" I croaked.

"Tell me about it…I'm not dumb ya know, I know I shouldn't stay with him….but I have no one and nothing….I have to give my baby anything I can, even if I have to pay for it with bruises" She said emotionless.

"But Bella what about your mother and her husband? Can't you depend on them?" I asked horrified by her desperate position.

"No" She said sadly.

"But, she your mother" I huffed out in complete shock.

"I…..I refuse to tell Renee about the rape…..plus when I told her I was getting married she….she flipped out, she said that if I was going to ruin my life that she wanted nothing to do to me……..I know she really didn't mean it, and in reality I never did get married, but so much has happened…and now there is Haley……..it's better that she believes that I am attending college, with my handsome caring, and successful Husband….I….I….I just couldn't bear to cause my mother more grief than I did, after Edward left……and I have completely lost touch with her, I don't even know what state she is living in now…..there is just no way….no way." She said defeated.

"Oh" Was all I said in response. 'If I had the money I would move her away from him, but a retired music teacher on a fixed income barely pays my bills', I had thought to myself at that moment. Bur the reality was that I couldn't do much for her….but I promised myself I would do anything I could to help this poor broken child in front of me.

And I had, I would baby-sit for her when she needed, which wasn't often because Mike only allowed her out of apartment to buy groceries. He never knew about the time she and Haley spent in my apartment, she was always careful to be back in hers an hour before he was to be home. She began to save small amounts of money she had saved from clipping coupons in a coffee can and kept it on top of my fridge. She used it to buy things she needed for Haley, and to pay for online college courses, that she took using my computer. I knew that if she was ever to leave Mike, she needed an education, and a small cushion of money. She also kept a few important things to her here. Things that if Mike saw or read, would probably trigger a beating.

A little over three years has pass since Bella opened up to me, and our bond is strong. I'm not sure how I feel about leaving her alone, for the next few months while I aid to my ailing sister states away. But I will pray for her, and hopefully soon she will be able to leave. She is a few credits away from getting her associates degree now, and she has a over a thousand dollars saved in the coffee can. Her darling daughter, and her only reason for living, is now three and a half years old and extremely smart. Bella spends almost every hour of everyday with her, reading and teaching to her everything she can. And she has been learning how to play the piano for two years now, and can play considerably well, for such a young child; thanks to her amazing teacher, and favorite neighbor, Me. You would never know that she lives in a battleground of a home, for, she is a happy and loving child. Her mother has been able to shield her from most of what Mike does, but she can't shield her, from Mike's ranting or insane rules, like, her not being able to call him anything other than Mike, or that Bella can only spend fifty dollars a year on her clothes.

"Fine if you don't want to cry, I'm sure that little rug rat will….Oh NOW you have a reaction huh?" His screaming broke me from my memories.

"Please Mike, leave her alone! You said you'd never touch her!" Bella screamed. I was getting very nervous now. Mike never even acknowledge there was a child living in the apartment. The child was not aloud to come out of her room when he was home.

"You better not touch that child Mike, I'll kill you myself" I growled towards the wall.

"Yeah well I lied you stupid bitch!" I heard him yell to Bella, as I heard the heavy footsteps he was making towards the child's room.

"Mike!" Bella screamed.

"What the hell are you doing by my safe? Your not allowed to-!"

***POW!* **

"Was that a gun shot?" I reached for the phone and frantically called the police for the second time today.


	2. Anchorage

**I'm not typing every chapter that I don't own the characters because I don't, and we all know who they do belong to…so if I forget to write that I don't own them in future chapters, please review back to this one!!! Anywho, Please enjoy this chapter, it's…..eye opening! **

**Chapter 2. Anchorage.**

Bright Eyes, "Middleman"

_I traveled through the atmosphere_

_as a wall feedback climbed, _

_the pegs were gold, the band was old, they played in half time/_

_Now every dream gets whittled down, just like ever fool gets wise,_

_you will never reap of any seed deprived of sunlight/ _

_So I have become the middleman,_

_The gray areas are mine, the in-between, the absentee,_

_Is a beautiful disguise/_

_So I keep my footlights shinning bright, just like I keep my exits wide, _

'_cause I never know when it's time to go, it's too crowded now inside,/ _

_The dead can hide beneath the ground and the birds can always fly,_

_But the rest of us do what we must, in constant compromise,/_

_So I have become the middleman,_

_the grey areas are fine,_

_The 'I don't knows' and 'Maybe so's' , _

_is the only real ,_

_it is the only true _

_It's the only real reply. ._

Carlisle's Pov

It was an ordinary day in Montana. We had just moved here from Idaho a year ago. And when I say we… I mean Esme and I. My family fell apart when Edward left Bella, and made us promise to leave her alone also. Of course Rosalie couldn't see past her ego, and couldn't let herself admit that Edward and Bella belonged together. And so when Edward had come to the family, to ask us to move, she instantly agreed. Which made Emmett agree, which made Jasper agree, which made Alice agree, which made Esme and I both to agree.

I had told Edward that leaving Bella was wrong, and that they could work through their problems. He asked me straight forward, "Carlisle, what if it was Esme who was in danger, wouldn't you do anything in your power to protect her?" And of course… I answered Yes. So My family and I, moved from our home in Forks Washington, and Edward left behind, to go wherever he needed to go to mourn the loss, of the love of his life.

The whole family minus Edward moved, to our large cabin in Idaho. We helped each other cope with the heartbreak, but we had been forever changed by the innocent sweet Bella…she would stay forever in our memories, and we will forever fell the loss. But we tried to cope, we really did, I guess it was in vain though; the first person to crack was surprisingly Rosalie. She knew deep down inside how much Bella loved Edward, and knew that Edward was wrong for leaving Bella.

We had been living in Idaho, in our family's cabin for eight months, when Rosalie, ran down stairs and screamed that we had made the wrong choice. Apparently her and Emmett had been bickering, because Emmett hadn't really wanted to leave Bella, and the grief from that was putting a strain on their relationship. Finally Emmett had posed her the same question Edward had me, but in a slightly different way. "What if it was you Rosie, What if I left you because I decided to I was too dangerous, and then I left you and so did the family?"

This question made Rosalie look deep into herself. She realized that no matter what her opinion had been, Bella loved Edward, probably as much as she loved Emmett. And she knew that Bella had loved the family just as much.

The family was torn with indecision. We all wanted to go back to Forks, to see Bella again, to claim our missing member. But, days before we had made plans to leave Alice had a vision. Alice had made it her mission to not look for Bella's future, but the decision that started everything in motion must have been big enough to push it's way through. Alice's vision was of Bella, giving birth, and smiling down at a newborn baby, with a look of pure joy on her face.

We all agreed Edward was right, and Bella deserved that kind of future. Alice, however was deeply wounded by the vision, and decided three months later that it was too hard for her not want to look into Bella's future, and that she just wanted to be back in Forks, to be close but not too close to her. So Jasper and Alice, moved back to Washington, and somehow convinced the tribe to allow them to stay on their land instead of ours. Jasper made quick friends with the Alpha, and works with him, on training the other members on strategy and technique for killing large numbers of vampires. The alpha has worked with Jasper and his "human blood issues", and apparently he has built up quite an immunity to the smell and all other things concerning it. Alice found out that she can't have visions while around the pack's members, so it has helped her, with her grief. Our treaty with the tribe is much easier for both parties now, and our alliance has made us both feel more secure than ever. And I am unbelievably proud of my two children for doing the impossible.

Once Alice and Jasper left, Rose and Emmett decided to leave also. They moved to Portland, and began a program to help kids with self esteem. Rosalie feels as if it pays some dues towards Bella in some way, for all the wrong Rosalie did towards her. Emmett on the other hand just enjoys it because many of the kids remind him of Bella, and thus he feels close to her, even though he isn't.

Edward calls once a month to check in, but other than that avoids the family as much as possible. He killed Victoria, two years, after tracking her for a long time. He continues to track and hunt down any Vampires that had any ties to Victoria and James, just encase they ever wanted to take revenge on Bella, like Victoria had wanted to.

Esme and I, moved to Boulder Montana, to a smaller cabin deep in the forest…….. but we live in each others grief. To Esme, Bella was her daughter, and so she continues to mourn her loss. And, I feel the guilt, for all my family. If only I had worked harder with Jasper, or prepared Edward better, things would have turned out differently; instead my family is in ruins.

I work at the small hospital in Helena Montana, seven days a week, now. It's mundane and boring, but the community is gracious, and happy to have me. It was early Tuesday morning when I got a startling phone call.

"Dr. Carlisle speaking" I stated as I answered the phone.

"Carlisle it's Tanya"

"Hello Tanya, how are you? How are-" She cut me off.

"I need you to come to Anchorage" She said quickly.

"Why is something wrong?" I asked worriedly.

"Yes, but I need to you come alone…now."

"Where in Anchorage?" I asked quickly, getting worried by the emotion in her voice.

"2801 DeBar Road, Alaska Regional Hospital" She said quickly.

"Did you…did you hurt one of your…male friends Tanya?" I asked worried but, slightly amused.

"No…just come please as soon as it is physically possible" She pleaded again.

"Ok I'll take the next flight I can" I said swiftly, already making a plan in my head.

"Can take a direct flight?"

"If I take a private jet…but Tanya I'm sure its not-" she cut me off.

"Yes it is" she said curtly

"Uh, alright then….let me see what I can do, I'll see you soon"

"Ok" was all she said before the line went dead.

I quickly called the small airport in Helena, and asked if there was anyway I could get some one to fly me to Anchorage Alaska as soon as possible, money being no object. And of course I secured a plane within minutes. On my way to the airport I called Esme and told her that I had to leave see Tanya, and that I had no explanation since Tanya didn't give me one. I explained to her though, that I had to go alone, but that I would call as soon as I found out what was going on. Of course her first response was the same as mine. She had believed that Tanya had hurt one of her 'Friends', but when I told her that Tanya said that was not it, se began to worry about the Volturi.

The flight was fast and I arrived in Anchorage around 10:35am, the flight only taking about three hours. I rented a car, and headed to the local hospital. Tanya was pacing outside the front doors, as I parked. He head shot up, as soon as either my sent or my voice talking to Esme were noticed. I ended my phone call with Esme as I approached her. Shocked, could not describe my feelings as Tanya scowled at me, and refused the invitational gesture of my hug. Something was definitely wrong.

**AN: Please review, I work extremely hard on this story, and a little note from you makes it worth it!!!! **


	3. The Journal Entry

**Well, here is the first glance into what Bella has been through, I hope you like it…well not like what she has been through….oh hell…just read!**

**Chapter 3. The Journal Entry. **

Sarah MacLauchlan "Blackird"

Black bird singing in the dead night

Take these broken wings and learn to fly,

All your life,

You were only waiting for this moment to arise/

Blackbird singing in the dead of night,

Take these sunken eyes and learn to see,

All your life,

You were only waiting for this moment to be free/

Blackbird fly,

Blackbird fly,

Into the light of a dark black night/

Blackbird fly,

Blackbird fly,

Into the light of a dark black night/

You were only waiting for this moment to arise………..

Tanya's Pov

If my family wasn't so close to his, I would have ripped his head off and burnt it. He gave me his heartwarming smile as usual as he approached my emotional form. I felt a glint of glee as his smile faltered, when I didn't not return it. That small glint, was the only happiness I had felt in the last twelve hours or so; I had been on an emotional rollercoaster and the good doctor himself, and his so called "loving family" were the reason. And so with a worried small, he continued towards me with open his arms as an invitation, and if it had been two days ago, I would thrown myself into them, hugging him with all the love I had.

I had always loved and respected Carlisle. He was kind, generous, and of course companionate; but at this moment all I felt was anger towards him and his family. I don't know if I could ever love them or look at them the same way I used too. I had been proud to be called a cousin. I had felt lucky to have known them and to have spent endless years near them. But now I when I thought of the name "Cullen" it made my non existent blood boil. How could they do that to her?

Carlisle's Pov

"Tanya, are you mad at me? I came as quickly as I could." I questioned as I looked at her scowling face and folded arms.

"I don't really know what to say to you Carlisle….I don't even know where I would start." She seethed as she shook her head, in what appeared to be disgust.

"Ok?…well why don't you tell me why you called me, and then maybe, why you are upset with me?" I said slowly. She just rolled her eyes, before she motioned me to follow her to a bench. She sat down, and looked annoyingly at me, motioning me to sit with her eyes. I slowly lowered myself down onto the bench, and faced her. She said nothing for a while, but then produce a folded piece of paper from her pocket.

"Read this, it will answer some questions you might have." She said as she shoved the paper into my hands. I watched her stand up and begin to pace in front of me, huffing and shaking her head. Whatever she was mad about, was affecting her severely; I watched her as if I was in a trace. She huffed again and stopped pacing, she walked and stood right in front of me, she waved her hands in annoyance, and seethed. "Read!" Before continuing her huffing, shaking, and pacing. I looked down at the fold paper in my hand. It was a white lined piece of paper, with writing on both sides, and looked like it had been ripped from whatever book had contained it. I unfolded it and began to read…

_July 17._

_ Mike was arrested. I don't know how much more I can take. I wish I could just end my life and be done with it, but I refuse to leave Haley. Mike, I'm sure would refuse to raise her, and his parents don't want her either, not that I would willingly leave her with any of them. So, I can't. I can't give in to the depression I find comfort in, the place in my dreams where I feel __**him**__ again, no matter how much I want to. She deserves more than the world gave me, and so I will continue to live each and everyday, for her. _

_ Mrs. Williams called the police after she found me unconscious on the floor in my apartment. She had heard my beating earlier and got worried, when I didn't come over to be bandaged up. My right eye is so swollen I can't open it enough to see through it, but like always, in a few days I will be fine. The four large bruises, that are scattered along my scalp, are what I am worried about. They are quite swollen and are even more painful to the touch, and I have the worse headache I've ever had; and that's saying a lot. But, I should be thankful, Haley slept through the whole ordeal behind her locked door, and I guess Mike could have done worse damage with that wooden dowel. So I must give thanks for the small things. _

_ I knew this was coming since yesterday. When he pinned me up against the kitchen counter and rape me, my hips received a beating of their own against the counter, so when he grabbed me early this morning, because he wanted sex, I flinched in pain. He of course thought that, it was a direct reflection of my feelings for him, as if I was disgusted by him, which of course I am. But I have learned that no reaction is better than the reactions I want to show. I usually just lay there or stand there as he rapes me repeatedly, or I guess I shouldn't call it rape, because I don't fight back, or say no anymore. So, usually when he has sex, I just let him do his business, while I close my eyes, and try to think of something else. _

_Mrs. Williams, cleaned me up, and watched Haley for me while I showered. And as I showered she called the police on Mike. She hadn't done it for months, for which I was thankful, but I understand a person can only take so much. She apologized to me knowing that Mike's parents would just bail him out, and he would come home on a mission. I told her not to worry about it, and that I understood; then we cried, while holding each other for a while. I am going to miss her when she leaves later this week, to California, to be with her dying sister, for a while. _

_ I finished my test online for Humanities, in which I passed scoring 100%, while Haley had her daily piano lesson. We ate a small lunch, and then I laid Haley down for her nap. I asked her, as I always do; who she wanted to spend the day with today. She replied Aunt Alice. So, as always, Haley and I dove deep into the fantasy world, where we had family that loved us. _

_ Haley and I spent the entire day at the mall with Alice, as Alice frantically shopped til we dropped. She dressed Haley up in the latest baby designer fashion, and Haley look gorgeous with bows all up in her hair. After we finished shopping, we drove to our huge home, where the rest of the family awaited. Alice, played make over, before we gave the family a fashion show, with all the wonderful clothes, Alice had bought us. Haley's eyes closed in deep sleep and happiness, as I finished the story._

_ I gave her the only thing I could, the only happiness I could afford, the fantasy, we both wish would be reality, but that I know could never be. _

_ When Haley woke from her nap, she told me of the wonderful dream she had. Of course it involved __**them**__, I just smiled sadly as I reminded her that they only lived in our imagination, and that we were lucky to have each other; in which she replied, " They are real to me mommy, and I know someday they will come for us….because, I love them all". My heart ached for her. I knew it was wrong in someway to give her a false sense of….well, anything….but I having nothing else and no one else…But, I am so lucky to have been given this miracle. Haley Ann, named after the only person I have ever known, that could, understand my pain, the one person I want her to grow up and be like; Strong independent and beautiful. Her middle name represents the one person I have ever loved. When I had been raped, I truly lost the last bit of humanity I had. But when I got her in return, for pain I had suffered, I thanked him for giving me this happiness, amidst all the sadness. God, truly does work in mysterious ways. _

_ Well, I better go, Mike will be home in a little over an hour and I need to prepare myself for the fury that is about to come. _

_ With all that I have……._

_B._

I stared in shock and wonder at the Journal entry I had just read. Grief struck me deep inside as I realized, who B, was, and tearless sobs wracked my body.

"Bella….this is about Bella?" I asked in a pained whisper. Tanya, stopped and turned towards me. She look at me like she would strike me dead if we weren't out in public.

"YOU LEFT HER! She, her pain and suffering, are caused from your doing. How could you! HOW COULD YOU!" She yelled in fury.

"But….Tanya I-"

"NO. You have no excuse, your family has no excuse….her blood is on you and your family's hands!"

"We had no idea….Alice! Alice had a vision of Bella happy….we never thought-" I shook my head in shame.

"YOU NEVER thought to check on her….You all were to wrapped up in your own bullshit, to just check on her" She spat.

"Edward didn't want us interfering with her life….we….we took a vote after Alice's vision to let her be happy….I can't believe-" My head fell into my hands as my body violently shook, from more tearless sobs.

"Edward is an idiot, and you all are for listening to him…"

"But, we love Bella, Tanya….my family is torn apart from the grief of loosing her……if we had only known" I sobbed.

"Ya! If you only KNEW Carlisle….did that journal entry cause you pain, did make you sad? Did it make you realize you and your family made a huge mistake, that caused that poor girls world to turn upside down? Well if you liked that one…there are hundreds more like it, some that make even a being such as myself want to retch, from the images, that play through my mind as I read them!" She bit out angrily, and then took a deep breath to calm her self.

"Did you love her….did you ever love her as one of your own?" She questioned sadly.

"Of course! You know that Tanya. You know how everyone feels about her, a part of each of died the day we left. We could barely tear ourselves away from Forks….we just thought it was….better for her"

"I'm still really pissed off at anyone that bears the last name Cullen….but I called you because…there's more to Bella's story"

"How…..how did?" I asked searching her eyes for answers. She just shook her head sadly as she slowly walked over and sat next to me.

"I was here at this yesterday evening scoping out the new doctors" She winked. Ah, of course that would be the only reason for Tanya to be in Anchorage, or at a hospital.

"I caught the scent I hadn't smelled in years, not since the last time I saw Edward…it intrigue me of course. The scent of the Famous Bella Swan, the girl who stole Edward's heart. So I followed the scent…I found it's owner…lying in the ICU, in a coma" She grimaced.

"Bella….Bella is in a coma" I choked out

"Uh huh, apparently Mike gave it to her, when he got home, just like she thought he would. The beating ended when she shot him, before she fell unconscious that is. I guess the blows she took to the head from the morning caused some bleeding in her brain, and when he came home and began hitting her again it aggravated it, to the point that the blood vessel burst." She said sadly.

"She shot Mike?"

"I guess he was going to go after Haley" She stuttered uneasily.

"How do you know so much?" I asked her in confusion, still trying to process everything, I had just read and heard. She looked down, in what looked like shame, before she look up again.

"Well, when I saw Bella in the ICU, there were police everywhere investigating something. Which increased my interest. So, I stole her chart and made copies, then replaced it and went out to my car to read it all. It contained, hundreds of ER visits, that clearly pointed to abuse. It also had a police report, of what had happened earlier that day……I went to her apartment" She whispered quietly.

"Why?" I asked.

"I don't know…I guess wanted to know more about her" She shrugged.

"Once I got to her apartment I snuck in. The place was a mess. Things had been thrown, there was dry blood everywhere. The place was…….depressing?….anyways, I was looking through the rooms, when I stumbled upon Haley's room. My breath caught in my throat as I realized, a child had lived in the apartment, as it's mother was abused. And, I began to wonder if the child was also abused….you know I usually don't care that much, about humans. But the thought of a child being abused horrified me….as I dug through the child's belongings I found a laminated card, that had the name, number, and address of the next door neighbor, Mrs. Williams. The card was attached to a small backpack that was filled with everything a child would need. Clothes, food, copies of her birth certificate. You get the idea…..I walked over to the neighbor's door and knocked. The most amazing and beautiful child answered the door, and a nice elderly woman was standing behind her…..before I knew it, I had lied and told the old lady that I was Bella's half sister, and I was leaving the apartment with Haley, Bella's daughter, and a large box of Bella's belongings that had been kept by the neighbor. The journals were lying on top."

"You took Bella's daughter?"

"Well Mrs. Williams was leaving to California the next day, and….I don't know. It happened all to fast….anyways, I went to a park and let the little one play, as I read all of the journals……I know it was an invasion of privacy and whatnot, but I felt so close to Bella, and needed to know more. Especially if I was to be taking care of Haley, until she woke up from her coma…………….Anyways, I read the journals and I have never felt so helpless in my entire existence. The life Bella has had to endure is heartbreaking, some entries I could barely get through…..Carlisle…….If you don't take Bella and Haley home with you, when Bella wakes up….I will" She said the last part suddenly, with fire burning behind her golden eyes. I just stared at her; and, for once in my life I was at a loss for words; and even wore I had no idea what to do.

"N-n-n-no….Tanya, I will take Bella home when she is able to leave the hospital." I said, saying the only response I knew was right, at that time.

"Well…..then you'll need to meet Haley" Tanya's former dark mood changed quickly, as she perked up and smiled.

"Uh….Uh….yes, I guess I should….but I should see Bella first" I stuttered out, my mind still feeling hazy and numb from the sensory overload.

"You can't right now, she is in surgery" Tanya said sadly.

"Oh….." Was all I could say. I knew it had something to do with repairing the damage that had been caused. They probably were relieving the pressure.

"Come on, we can run faster than taking the highway…..the edge of the forest is just right over there" She said quickly as she grasped my hand and pointed towards the trees, a few miles away.

**AN: Please review, I work extremely hard on this story, and a little note from you makes it worth it!!!! **


	4. You’re Prettier Than I Thought You’d Be

**I love love love love love love, this chapter, and I hope you do too! So don't forget to review afterwards ok? ENJOY!**

**Chapter 4. You're Prettier Than I Thought You'd Be.**

Mark Chesnutt "When You Love Her Like Crazy"

_She'll call,_

_I'll drop,_

_Everything and run, _

_She'll ask, _

_She'll get,_

_Anything she wants/_

_Take all my money, And take all my time, _

_There's nothing of mine, That I wont sacrifice/_

_When you love her like crazy, _

_That's what you are, _

_You don't think, _

_You just follow your heart,_

_Am I a fool, outta my mind, _

_Yeah, well maybe, _

_But that's how it is _

_When you love her like crazy/_

_She'll smile at me, _

_And I'll come unglued, _

_She'll cry, _

_Those tears, _

_And I'll hurt too/_

_Forget all logic, _

_And all reasons why, _

_There's a word that describes what I'm acting like/ _

_When you lover her like crazy, _

_That's what you are, _

_You don't think, _

_You just follow your heart/_

_Am I a Fool, outta my mind, _

_Yeah, well maybe,_

_But that's how it is when you love her like crazy/_

_Am I a Fool, outta my mind, _

_She's my baby,_

_And that's how it is when you love her like crazy,_

_Like crazy…_

Carlisle's Pov

No words could express the emotions surging around in my body, as we ran. I was depressed, angry, sorrowful, intrigued, upset, happy, disappointed, and lost, all at the same time. The decisions my family and I had made, had clearly caused Bella nothing but pain and grief. We left her, and never once checked on her. We failed her in all ways that counted, but I was now determined to never let her down again. And, that was why I need to meet, Haley.

Throughout the run from Anchorage to Denali, Tanya, gushed about the sweet little girl. But there were a lot of things she stopped herself from saying. By the time the large cabin, came into view, I was extremely nervous, but not exactly sure why.

Tanya came to an abrupt stop mere feet from her front door. She spun around and said, " Haley is out with Carmen, but they'll be back soon….I think you should read Bella's journals Carlisle….so you will know her whole story….and Haley's." She grabbed my hand and lead me into the house. She took me to her bedroom and gave me a seat on the couch. She then, disappeared through a large door for a few seconds, before returning with a box. Sitting beside me, she sat the small box on the floor.

"Carlisle…some of these are…..really hard to read….I just want you to prepare yourself." Tanya said as she handed me the first journal. I just took a deep breath and nodded sadly, before I began, because I had to know the whole story if I was ever to help her; or know enough to take care of her currently "motherless" child.

The first entry began in January, mere months after we had left. It talked of her pain, from loosing Edward and all of us. The journal entries continued each and every day, and Bella's story turned more tragic with each page. Tanya continued to hand me journal after journal, as I read them front to back. She would hold my hand or pat my back soothingly when I cried out in horror, she cooed me when I sobbed in despair, and she gave a needed hug, once I finished them all.

"How could we have left her, with out anything?" I sobbed, as Tanya hugged me tightly. She comforted me, even though I could tell she was still angry with me and my family.

"That's…..well fuck Carlisle….that's just something you and your family are going to have to live with. Something that's blame is placed more heavily on some, more than others. But, Carlisle, even though I am mad at you….it wasn't truly your fault this happened to her….it's definitely someone else's (she muttered, under her breath)….but, you can't change the past…..only the future.…...Bella….Bella needs you, she needs your family….and we all know your family has needed her too….You need to be strong for her, and for them….." She cooed as Carmen and Eleazar appeared in the doorway, I gave them a weak smile.

"Carmen, Eleazar….is nice to see you again." Nodding at their approaching forms.

Tanya stood up and smiled brightly, as she walked towards them, only to stop, and step to the side, so the conversation could flow between us all. "Did she have fun?" She asked Carmen in excitement.

"I think so, but you'll have to ask her yourself, she can't wait to tell you about her day." Carmen said with a twinkle in her eye. Whom ever they were talking about, they clearly loved dearly; I just hoped they didn't began messing with immortal children again. My mind reeled at the thought, they memories of the heartache and pain it had all caused. But my mind was halted when I realized, who they were talking about. I hadn't paid attention to the sounds around me, my mind had been so full of…well, everything, at the time. But as Tanya, giggled with glee, the sounds of tiny footsteps, and an excited heartbeat were heard in the hallway.

Seconds later the most beautiful child appeared between Carmen and Eleazar. She pushed and wiggled her way through them into the room. She was small, but clearly well taken care of and healthy. Her porcelain skin, reminded me of her mother's, however, the child's skin, had the most breathtakingly beautiful, pink glow to it. She had thick curly bronze hair, that fell way past her shoulders, just as her mother's had the last time I had seen her. But her hair was not the same as her mother's; no, it was an odd color, one I had only seen on two other people in my entire existence. I stared at her small form, waiting, and wanting to see her face. In Bella's journals, she had describe this child as looking similar to Edward, even though she never really went into deep detail. Of course it had to be because of the hair, the color matched Edwards almost identically. Only the curls, and the few strands here and there of a almost brown, made it slightly darker. Only a vampire would see the difference.

I was sure her face was as pure and ethereal as her mother's had been, and her eyes probably the same deep chocolate color. But, my wish had not been granting, for, her small chubby fingers clutched a candy apple, that her down cast eyes had been staring at, I'm sure, hungrily, as she made her way into the room.

"Tanya! The carnival was so much fun! I got you a candied apple!" She said happily as she thrusted the apple upwards, towards Tanya's awaiting hands.

"Did you now. Well that is just so sweet of you Haley, I love apples!" Tanya exclaimed, as she gazed at the child, in wonderment and love.

"Uh huh! And it was so funny, You shoulda been there! It was so much fun, we wode wides, and we ate yummy food…but, I don't sank Carmen likes cawotton candy! She made funny faces as she ate some of mine!…Oh! And we took funny picture in the booth thingy! Oh you should have been there, it was so much fun….I can't wait to tell mommy!" The child said as she jumped up and down, causing us all to laugh, at her excitement.

I hadn't had a reason to laugh for years, and as a loud chuckle leapt from my lips and its sound reached her ears, she stopped her jumping abruptly. First, all I saw were her bouncy bronze curls whip around her face. Then as they fell, the soft beauty of her sweet baby face….though angular, with straight defined lines, but….. yet somehow, still containing the fullness from her baby fat came into full view. My heart warmed as I saw glimpses of her mother, but my breathe caught as her intense emerald eyes landed on mine, and I realized she also had features similar to my son. I took in a shaky breath as I stared in awe of the beautiful child. If Bella and the human Edward, would have ever procreated, this is exactly what I believed their child would look like. There was no mistaking the striking resemblance Haley, had to my son. If nothing else, even if she didn't have his hair color or strong facial features, she had his eyes, and the thick dark lashes that surrounded them.

She stared at me for a while squinting her eyes and tilting her head side to side. As if she was trying to read my mind, or find something within my soul. She rubbed her green eyes, blinked a few times and continued to stare. I began to worry that I scared her for some reason, but as soon as the thought crossed my mind, a huge smile broke out upon her face. I smiled back as she walked slowly, but confidently towards me.

She stopped as she reached the couch I was sitting on. The room was so quiet only the beating of her heart, and her slow and even breaths could be heard. She studied my face for a few minutes, as she smiled widely towards me. Then ever so slowly, but very determined, she reached up and touched my face. Her little sticky fingers traced my nose, and eyes, and then tugged on my blonde hair. She retracted her hand as she leaned in towards my ear.

"I know you" She whispered quietly, as if telling me a deep secret; however everyone had heard it.

"Really?" I whispered back, feeling quite entertained by this small child's boldness.

"Uh huh…..Your….your Grandpa Carwhile." She whispered again, and once again everyone of course heard her. But unlike them, I was in shock. I stopped breathing completely, my mind racing with thousands of questions.

This child knew exactly who I was, but believed I was her………Grandpa? I let her question and my own, roll around in my head, before I remembered all the journal entries, Bella had written. Everyday it had told of the nap time, and bed time story she would share with Haley. It was Bella's way of giving Haley, a family…a loving family. Bella would tell Haley, often that the Cullens were not real, but, Haley, had told her "they're real to me mommy" the day Bella went into a coma. And so of course, Haley, believed I was her grandfather.

This poor child had none one, except her mother, and a world that "didn't exist", where she had a family that loved her; my family. Every psychology degree I had, was working in over time, I was trying to figure out what I should do. Haley was not my granddaughter, and even though I loved Bella, as my own , I was not her father. I had no idea what to do, I wasn't sure what was right or what was wrong, and more importantly how Bella, would want me to handle this situation. I continued analyze, as Haley turned and shrugged at the others, my face blank and frozen in place, due to my intense concentration. My decision was made though, as her green eyes looked back at me with so much love and hope.

"Yes" I choked out, before I even knew what I was saying.

"I knew you would come for us one day, I knew you were real" She said lovingly as she crawled onto my sitting form, and wrapped her tiny arms around my neck. I froze, for never in all my years, had I spoke before I made an educated decision, and never before had I felt such unadulterated love for a being I had just met.

"I'm sorry I took so long" I sobbed out as I wrapped my arms around her small warm body, as tearless sobs of pain and regret wracked my body for the hundredth time today. She just sat there in my lap, clutching me tightly as I cried, for her, for her mother, and for my family.

"It's ok Grandpa Carwhile…don't cry…I still love you….I'm happy you're here" She said sweetly as patted my back; in a grownup manner.

"I know precious….I know" I sobbed out. Finally after I couldn't find the energy to sob any longer, she released her grasp on me and sat back to stare me in the face.

"So purdy" She chirped as she stared at me.

"Yes you are precious" I smiled sweetly at her.

"Not me silly…you!….you're prettier than I thought you would be" She said as her chubby hand cupped my cheek, and I couldn't help but lean into it. How could one not fall in love with this little angel.

"My beauty doesn't compare to yours though, precious" I cooed back to her, she blushed crimson.

"Thank you" she said shyly.

"Uh….Haley, How about I take you down stairs so you can change your clothes. Grandpa Carlisle has had a very long day, he probably needs to………take a nap….uh…and after we change your clothes, I can make you some hot coco" Tanya sang sweetly, enticing the child. Haley's eyes squinted at my face as she pursed her dark pink lips in indecision.

"Marshwellows?" she questioned, with an eyebrow raised and as if it was the deciding factor.

"Of course" Tanya said quickly, which caused a squeal to emit from Haley's awaiting face.

"Ok" She said quickly, leaving a kiss on my cheek, before she crawled off my lap and ran towards Tanya. She grasped Tanya's hand and they began to make their way out of the room, when she stopped abruptly.

"You'll be here right? You won't go away something?" She questioned hopeful, and once again she broke my heart.

"I'll never leave you precious" I nodded in return. She just smiled brightly at me as she turned on her heel and waltzed out the door with Tanya, talking animatedly about her day at the zoo. I collapsed in to the couch as soon as her tiny form could no longer be seen. Even with all the happiness I felt surrounding Haley, the memories of what I had read in the journals came flooding back to me; and, I once again had no clue what to do.

"I know this is hard for you Carlisle…..it's a lot to take in all at once." Eleazar stated sadly.

"Wha-what do I d-d-do?" I asked unsure, as Carmen walked over lifted my head, sat down, and placed my head in her lap.

"You do the only thing you can…..be strong for your granddaughter" She stated simply, while running her hand through my hair, in an effort to soothe me.

"How?"

"Love her…..call your family, get them here…give her the family she deserves. Play with her, teach her, be a Grandfather…..but for God's sake, get off that couch, stop crying and be strong for her" Eleazar said softly.

"Your right" I said sitting up and straightening out my disheveled clothes.

"You don't have to have all the answers right now…you don't have to instantly accept everything that has happened. It will take time to heal the pain and regret, it will take time to accept what has happened to her……but Bella, needs you and your family right now….she also has the ability to rebuild what you all have destroyed……let her" Carmen cooed.

"I need to call Esme first, I need my wife by my side….I guess call Rosalie too. It's going to be the hardest on her…no, not on her….on Edward" I said, determined as I sat up and reached for the small shiny silver cell phone in my pocket.

"I think it would be best to just focus on the other kids first….everyone is going to have to accept what happened, and use it to be strong, before Edward is brought in" Eleazar said quietly. I nodded my head in agreement; my family's durability will truly be tested that day.

***************

It was 7:00pm, I had called Rosalie and Emmett, and Esme; they would be arriving in the morning. I had been sitting in Eleazar's office making copies of Bella's journals. I wanted my family to read Bella's journals at the same time. Because, I knew that once they began to read even the first paragraph, grief would take over, and that the others would be left wondering what was wrong. So, if they read at the same time, they would finish around the same time, and they all could lean on each other, fully educated in the seriousness of the situation.

I was finishing up the last page of the last journal when the door to the office opened. I looked up from the desk to see a very sleepy and very adorable Haley, shuffling in, wearing a pair of pink footie pajamas, and clutching a small thick blanket. She didn't say anything as she slowly shuffled her feet across the floor, and ended up behind the desk, beside my chair. I swiveled to face her and gave her a smile.

"Grandpa Carwhile?" She asked.

"Yes precious?" I responded.

"I can't sweep" She huffed.

"Why not precious"

"My mommy always tells me a breadtime story…..But she's not here….and Tanya says mommy was weally tired, and needed to sleep for a weally wong time….I want her to sweap if she's sweapy….But, mommy will wake up soon right? Cuz I miss her a lot". She said so innocently.

"I hope she wakes up soon, I miss her too"

"You do?" She asked quizzically, as she took it upon her self to climb into my lap and lay her head on my chest.

"Yes, very much so"

"I sink she loves you a lot, too, ya know?" She said sweetly as she looked up from my chest with her large green eyes.

"Does she?"

"uh huh….in the stories she would tell me, she would talk about you, like you were……like you were…..like you were one of the bestest people ever" She said before she yawned.

"Well, your mother is one of the best people I have ever known…"

"Grandpa?"

"Yes precious"

"She always said you weren't real….but I knew you had to be……why would she say you were just pretend?"

"Well, because she believed I was gone forever."

"So…You and everyone….just…went away….why?….." She asked innocently.

"Well, it's kind of hard to explain…..but, how about I tell you a story?"

"Is it a real one or a pretend one?"

"A real one….it's the story of how I met your mother…..of how she became like a daughter to me"

"I haven't heard this one yet." she replied sleepily as she snuggled down into my hard chest, and I wrapped the blanket she had tightly around her.

"Years ago I lived in the town of Forks, with my family"

"Grandma Esme?" She asked innocently, as I sucked in a quick breath.

"Yes Grandma Esme, and all our kids."

"Oh ok" she snuggled down again.

"On your mother's first day of school she caught the……attention…..of my son Edward. He tried to resist……liking her too much. But she was too beautiful and too…….sweet. She found Edward intriguing and…..special. Edward saved her life at school, and she saved his humanity-" She cut me off.

"What human-attity, Grandpa?"

"Well, precious, it means, the qualities or characteristics considered as a whole to be characteristic of a human being."

"And what does all that mean?" She giggled tiredly.

"Right….talking to a three and half year old…….uh…it means she saved him from turning into something or someone that wouldn't been….like, human…."

"What do you mean not human?" She asked half-asleep

"Uhh…bad analogy....ummm.."

"What's an annnalaolagy?" She asked, with her eyes closed, making me wonder if she just talked in her sleep.

"Do you want to here the story?" I asked amused.

"Yes….but I wanna understand it" She said as she sat up, and looked me straight in the face. I was taken back, she wasn't being bratty or anything…she just truly wanted to understand. And I realized now how smart this child really was, even though she would pronounce her words right all the time, she was far advanced for her age.

"Ok…..how about….your mother's love, made him experience things and emotions that he never had before. And because he had never felt those things before her, he was moody and kind of mean, and the family thought he was going to become….like a statue, just no emotions, no life, just something that took up space…..you see …..her love made a grumpy, sometimes mean….person….become a happy, gracious, living breathing, loving son" I smiled down at her.

"Oh…..ok" She said before he yawned and snuggled even closer.

"Anyway…After spending time together, my son decided to allow himself to love and be loved….so she completely captured his heart, and they fell deeply in love. Their love was strong and intense, even when…..outside sources, threatened to tear them apart. My whole family was gracious that your mom had given Edward, the gift of love, that she had turned his heart of…stone, in a warm and loving, beating one. For Edward no longer needed his own heart, because it beat inside your mother's chest." I stopped too look down at her, to make sure she was understanding the story. I hadn't realized she had dozed off, so I just sat there and stared down at the sleeping angel in my arms and smiled.

I figured that I would finish telling her the story someday, except now I hoped it had a happy ending. None the less, even though my wife was my reason for being….the pure contentment I felt as I held my new found grandchild tightly to my chest, was now my other reason for living. The sound and feel of her tiny beating heart made me feel complete. I had never completely understood what Edward meant when he had said it, but now I do. I no longer needed my own heart, for, the only one would ever need, beat inside the tiny chest, of the small child in my arms. I had never given any thought to being a grandpa, but if this was what I had to look forward to, then I would gladly take the role.

**AN: Please review, I work extremely hard on this story, and a little note from you makes it worth it!!!! **


	5. Esme

**I don't own the song or the characters; except for Haley….she's mine! I hope you enjoy this chapter! **

**Chapter 5. Esme**

Iron and Wine "Each Coming Night"

…_Will you say when I'm gone away, _

"_My lover came to me and we'd lay in rooms unfamiliar but until now"._

_Will you say to them when I'm gone away, _

"_I loved your son for his sturdy arms, _

_we both learned to cradle then live without."._

_Will you say when I'm gone away, _

"_Your father's body was judgment day, _

_We both dove and rose to the riverside"._

_Will you say when I'm gone away, _

"_Your face has faded but lingers on, _

_Because light strikes a deal with each coming night"_

Carlisle's POV

I left the Denali's home around 6:00am. I had stayed in Eleazar's, office holding Haley as she slept throughout the night. It was one of the most peaceful nights I had ever experienced. With every breath she took and each beat of her heart, I fell more in love with her. I felt as if I had just woken up, as if my entire existence I had been walking through thick fog. I love my children, and I love my wife, but the love I held for this little girl, was something I couldn't explain. It's deeper, it's different. And, I couldn't wait for Esme to meet her, I knew that she would fall in love with Haley, just as fast and deep as I did; I knew they all would.

Just like her mother, Haley talked in her sleep; and for the first few hours, she murmured about the carnival. She "ooohed" and "aahhhed", she even giggled, while talking to whom I believe, was Carmen, Tanya, and Eleazar. After that, she began talking about us; all of us. She squealed and laughed, while talking to Emmett and Jasper. She murmured "I love you's" to Esme and myself. She even complained to Alice, that she didn't really like dresses that much.

Her sleep talking amused me, and kept me entertained throughout the night, but it confused me too. Not once did she mention Edward. It was only natural that he would be included with us, but for some reason he wasn't. The only explanation I could come up with is, that Bella didn't speak of him often; as I had read, only twice had his name been mentioned in a nap or bedtime story, that she had written about in her journals. But Bella, had written separately about Edward, throughout the years. Her deep depression, and longing for him, was a topic that was mentioned many times. But maybe saying his name out loud, brought her pain; Maybe she didn't want Haley to talk about him; or maybe just maybe, Haley was more intelligent and perceptive than any child her age should be; just as her mother had been. Maybe Haley, knew to avoid anything pertaining to Edward, because she knew Bella's heart ached for him.

I laid her on the Denali's soft living room couch and asked Tanya to bring her to the house around 9:00am. I ran quickly to my family's Alaskan home, it was just a few miles from the Denali's. It was a large split wing, two story, seven bedroom, four bathroom, open beam lodge. Most of the walls were made of large glass windows, those walls that were not, were logs. It was the only other house that my entire family considered as a true home, the other being our large Victorian home in Forks.

I removed all the white sheets that covered the furniture. I washed linens and made beds. I swept and mopped, dusted and cleaned. I fixed up the living room and started a fire, (for Haley of course). I moved around the furniture in the living room, making it so the couches and chairs all sat in a semi circle facing the fireplace.

I figured that Esme would be arriving around 8:00am, and that I would sit her down and, give her Bella's journals to read. I would follow suit with Emmett and Rosalie who would be arriving a little bit afterward. I hoped the spacing would leave Esme enough time to process everything, or at least process enough to be helpful before the other two arrived. I figured she would read, cry, talk, and then at 8:30am she would help me with Emmett and Rosalie; or at least that was what I was hoping.

Then Emmett and Rosalie would read, cry, talk, and at 9:00am meet our newest family member. I was extremely nervous; I knew that Esme, and Emmett, would be quite upset, and probably weep for Bella, but then would want to help her and meet Haley, and then of course fall in love with her within seconds. But I had no idea how Rosalie would act. I wasn't sure if she would be sad and upset that we had left Bella. Or mad at herself again. Maybe even go crazy, remembering her vicious attack, and relate it to the last four years or more of Bella's life. I also wasn't sure about how she would feel about Haley. Haley was named after her for a reason, and I wasn't sure if she would fully understand that reason. And then I was nervous that maybe they would have different opinions on Haley, and what Haley, was sure to call them. I could only hope and pray for the strength I was going to need to have for the next hour or so.

My hands began to tremble as I heard the Esme's vehicle pull off the highway and onto the gravel driveway. And they continued to tremble as she drove down our driveway. Esme pulled up to the house, and within one second was standing before me on the porch, with the most curious and terrified stare. I smiled as I greeted her, and then motioned for her to come and sit in the living room. Esme took her seat on the small love seat, that sat at the very middle of the semi-circle.

"Carlisle, why did ask me here? and why is there a fire?" Esme questioned wearingly.

"Esme my love, I first would like to apologize for having to take off on such short notice. It was in fact for a very good reason….as reason you are about to be told." I said as I began pacing in front of the fireplace.

"ok…well, it is the Denali's? Are they in trouble? Is it the Volturi? Oh My God! Is it Edward? It's Edward isn't it! Oh please tell me he is ok Carlisle PLEASE tell me he's ok!" She asked hysterically.

"Edward is fine Esme…..as far as I know.." I sighed.

"Then why am I here, why did you leave and why do I smell human food in the house?" She asked as her nose scrunched up in disgust.

"Esme…what I'm about to show you and tell you is going to be….very difficult….I would like to just…tell you, and answer your questions, but….answering them would only lead to more questions, that would lead to more…you get the idea……" I took in a deep cleansing breath.

"Carlisle….I don't understand, please stop being so cryptic and just get on with it" She chided quickly. I nodded quickly and grasped the small box that contained the set of Bella's Journals.

"As you are aware, Tanya called me yesterday morning and asked me to come here to Alaska, and so I did. Once I arrived she handed me a piece of paper, that piece of paper was ripped from the last page of the last notebook in this box. This box contains answers to almost any question you may have for me. I would like you to read them…..I have to warn you though…they are intense, heartbreaking, and painful to read. Take your time and I will answer any questions you may have once your done. With your speed it should only take you twenty minutes or so, Rosalie and Emmett will be arriving in thirty minutes." I handed her the box. She just sat on the loveseat, staring bewilderingly at me.

"Carlisle…what is this? Who's are these? OHMY-" She cut herself off as the slight scent of Bella, wafted from the box. Her head whipped up, as her eyes filled with venomous tears that would never fall. I just grimaced and motioned for her to read. I sat down in the large chair on her left, facing the front door.

Esme's POV

Bella…..My lost daughter, the beautiful human girl, who captured my son's heart, the girl who captured all our hearts. The single being who could complete my family, the person whose mere presence, brought my family joy, and brought us closer than we had ever been. But also, the only one who has ever had the ability to tear my family apart; and whose absence did just that.

Of all the reasons for Tanya to call Carlisle……Bella? I had no idea what I was about to read, or how Tanya had ended up with these journals, but I did know that overwhelming joy, flooded my body, when I reached for the first one. I was about to learn about my lost daughter's life after we left. Yes, I was sure some of it would be intense, heartbreaking, and painful to read. Those parts were probably her thoughts and experiences from after we had left. I had never wanted to leave, but Edward had never asked the family for anything. And Rosalie and Emmett had agreed to leave; I was not about to loose my entire family, no matter how heartbroken I was about loosing one of its members, I refused to loose all of them…little did I know leaving her would have done just that….. I grasped the first journal and began to read.

_January 21__st__. _

_They're gone. All of them. When he left he took not only my friends, but my family, my future, and my heart. I feel as if a hole has been punched through my chest. There is no way to fix it, no way it will ever heal, it will never close and scar over; no, it is a never ending, bleeding pain, that I will have to bear. But, I am thankful for the pain in a way. If it wasn't for the constant searing pain in my chest, it would just like he said, "as if he never existed". The pain is a constant reminder of the family, and the future that I lost when he left me that day in the woods, but it is a pain I will gladly bear. _

_ For the last few months, I have done nothing. I didn't really eat, I wouldn't talk, I wouldn't listen to music, and I refused to read. Everything was a reminder of him, and I hated myself and him for it. Numbness moved in mere days after their departure, and is now a constant companion. Charlie woke me from my numbness, only a few days ago. He wanted to send me to Florida to be with Rene'e, but I refused. _

_ I have however decided to act, as normal as I can for him, because, I know that my behavior has been hardest on Charlie. So I have begun hanging out with Jake, and even accepted a movie date with Mike Newton. _

_ I wish Alice was here. I wish I could talk to her, I wish she could tell me everything will be ok, because she had seen it, but she is gone. Since she is not here for me to talk to, I think keeping a journal will help me get through each day, and will be there as a remember of my past. _

_ Of all things that I wish, I wish he had never left or at least if only I was able to say goodbye, to all of them._

_ I would have told Carlisle, that I loved him like a father. That I was lucky to have had him as my doctor, and my friend. I would tell him that, his compassion for people, had made me want to help and love more._

_ I would have told Esme that she had been more of a mother to me in the small time I knew her, than my mother had my entire life. I would have told her that I was lucky to have been a part of her family, even if it had been only for a short time. And that her love for her family had inspired me, and that someday I wished to love my children with as much passion and kindness as she did hers. _

_ I would have told Jasper that I forgave him the moment, he tried to attack me, and that it was not his fault, he was only acting on instinct. I would have told him I loved him for loving Alice, and for loving the family enough to sacrifice and suffer, like he did. I would have told him that I appreciated his laid back attitude, and that I wished we had spent more time together. _

_ I would have told Alice, that I loved her like a sister. That even though I hated to shop, I enjoyed every second with her. I would have told her that she brought happiness and a carefree feeling into my life, and that she had me feel special and important. I would have told her I was lucky to have known her, to have loved her, and to have had her in my life; and that her fashion advice did not go unheeded, and that I promise to wear mascara everyday from then on. _

_ I would have told Emmett, that I loved him like a brother, that he was the big brother I had always wished to have. I would have told him, that his antics, though they irritated me sometimes, brought color into my life, and made me look at the world differently. He made me realize that life shouldn't be so serious, that it should be filled with laughter and silliness. I would tell him that I would miss his hugs, and his laughter, but that I would always know how to protect myself now, due to his "crazy-mad" fighting skills, that he passed onto me. _

_ I would have told Rosalie, that, the day she told me about her past, was the day I finally understood who she was. I would have told her that I loved her, no matter, how she would act towards me, and that her strength and determination amazed me. That I wished someday to be as strong and independent as she was, that she inspired me to be a stronger more self confident person, or at least I was working towards that. _

_ I would have told Edward, that I loved him, that I would always love him. That I know I was never good enough for him, and that I never had wanted to hold him back. I would have told him that he was wrong, my mind may be human, but that I would never forget him, and my love for him would never lessen. _

_ I would have told them all, that I wish they would stay, but that I understood why they had to leave. It would have killed me to do these things, but, not nearly as much as never getting the chance to say goodbye. _

I began sobbing quietly to myself as I read the first page. I had wanted to say goodbye, I had wanted to at least stay in touch, but Edward forbid it.

I continued to read the journals. They were sad and depressing; Bella didn't care about her life anymore, she felt as if she had no reason to live. She went through the motions of being human for Charlie, that was it.

I got excited when I began to read about Mike Newton. When they started dating, I knew he had to be the father of the baby from Alice's vision. My lost daughter would have a happy and healthy life with a caring husband and a family, I couldn't have asked for more. But, my joy quickly faded as I learned the true story behind the birth of this child named Haley. With each passing page, guilt and hatred, began bubbling through my body. I wanted to kill Mike, I wanted to save Bella, and I wanted to hold Haley.

I cried when Bella said Charlie had been killed. My body shook as Bella described her brutal rape, and all that followed. My heart broke as the beatings began. But nothing was compared to the raw emotions I felt as Bella describe the first Nap-time story involving my family, namely me.

_December 25__th_

_ My baby girl is almost a year old. She has been talking for quite sometime now, but just last month could I clearly understand what she was saying. She had asked me about Santa Claus. My heart broke for her, and for myself. My whole life I had hated getting gifts, and so, most holidays that included gifts of any kind bothered me. However, I always loved Christmas. Christmas used to equal love and happiness for me. Most of my best memories are from Christmas._

_ But now, it's just another depressing day for me. I guess I should be thankful for the small things…Mike has decided to spend it with his parents this year, and also decided I wasn't coming. I wished, I had known, because I would have used some of the money I was saving in Mrs. Washingtion's apartment to purchase Haley a gift. _

_ This morning she was watching TV with me, an old Christmas movie. When it was over she asked who Santa was, as I laid her down for a nap. When she asked me I just froze. What was I supposed to tell my daughter? My daughter who had nothing, who was given nothing, and who had nobody but me?…I told her that he was a nice man who sometimes, brings little children gifts for Christmas. I don't know if she really understood but…and a part of me hopes she didn't. Then the next question she asked me was earth shattering. She said, "Momma? Do I have gramp-errents like the boy did?…of course she was referring to the little boy in the story…My world stopped spinning, as I realized what she truly was missing out on. So I did the one thing that I could, I gave her the only thing I had…..part memories, part story telling…..I gave her a fantasy world. _

_ I had told her that she did have grandparents. And that their names were Carlisle and Esme, and that they lived in a land far far away. I told her that she could visit them in her dreams, and that we could make up stories about them if she wanted to; but that they were our secret and that she could never EVER talk about them when Mike, was around, unless it was whispered during a Bedtime story. _

_ She agreed and then asked me to tell her about them. I knew that she would fall asleep quickly, because she always did, and so I decided to give her, her own Christmas themed story. _

_ "Grandma Esme and you spent the whole morning baking sugar cookies. And your Uncle Emmett who is as big as a bear kept trying to steal them. You were in charge of guarding the cookies, and you would jump on your Uncle every time he even got close to them. You know…Your Grandma Esme loves you so very much, and wouldn't stop giving you hugs and kisses. _

_After you two, finished baking you got to help put icing on them. You made all kinds of designs. Bells and Christmas trees, reindeer, and snowmen; they all turned out so pretty. When you were done, Esme and you danced through her big white house, singing and laughing. She would twirl you, and dip you, and tickle you….you were laughing so hard you could barely breathe. _

_Once you both were tired, you sat next to a huge window that looked out into the forest, and she read you, your favorite story, as she held you tight. She kissed the top of your head book was finished _

_Then you curled up, as she held you even tighter and began to sing you. She sang, 'I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living my baby you'll be…'_

_And you fell asleep just like you did, a second ago"_

_ It was so sweet, and for the first time in a very long…long time, my baby girl fell asleep with a smile. When she woke up she told me all about her dream, and how she played with her grandma, they had played house, and did laundry. They made more cookies, and even some cakes. My heart aches as she talks about Esme. Because she was more of a mother to me than Rene'e had been. I loved her so much….I loved them all so much, and even though it will hurt me to talk about them with Haley, I'm going to do it. Because she deserves to feel completely loved, for now….I wish I could give her so much, but, right now….that is all I have to give. _

_ With all that I have…._

_ B._

She loved me like her mother? She still loves me even after I had been part of the decision to leave her, and thus leaving her with THIS life? She loves me even though I didn't even say goodbye…How? I could never love me…or any of us, after what she had been going through.

I continued to read her journals, one by one, page by page. I hoped that her story would become easier…happier…but as each and every day passed, her life or whatever there was of it was stained, with sadness, emptiness, and horrific pain…so much pain, so much pain…Too much pain!

Carlisle's POV

During the twenty minutes it took her to read Bella's journals, she had broken down in sobs, more than I could count. Her hands shook with emotion as she relieved Bella's life after us, through the plain and thoroughly documented pages. Anger, hurt, shame, horror, and shock, played across her face as she zoomed through each journal. When she had finished the last page, the page from July 17th; she looked up at me with such deep rooted pain in her eyes.

"Where is she?" She asked as her voice broke.

"In the hospital" I said sadly, as Esme nodded.

"What happened." She asked, not really wanting to know the answer.

"She had some minor bleeding on her brain, that was aggravated when he came home and started in on her. She…..( I took a deep breath)…..she shot him before she fell unconscious." I stated as clearly and professionally as I could.

"Did she wake up?" She asked as her head fell into her hands. I rushed to her side, and pulled her into a tight embrace as I cried out.

"No"

And with my simple answer, I held my wife as she screamed out her tearless cries of remorse, pain, and all the other emotions, that were sure to be swarming throughout her body.

After what seemed like eternity she sat up straight. She straightened her clothes and her hair and looked towards me. "Will she ever wake up?"

"I hope so…I read what Tanya had of her chart….she was in surgery yesterday until early this morning….I won't be able to find out anything till later today" I stated stoically.

"Where is the child?"

"She'll be here around 9:00am"

"WHAT! What were you thinking Carlisle? Are you crazy?….Rosalie….oh God Rosalie….!" She cried out in horror.

"I know…..that's why Jasper and Alice aren't here yet…..I thought it would be best if I talked to you first, and then we both can help deal with Rosalie….I thought that there is no way of actually processing all this and that we don't really have the time, to do it properly so…….I don't, I guess I wasn't thinking when I talked to Tanya this morning…maybe this is all too fast…." I said as I turned my attention to the large window and the approaching vehicle that contained two of my children.

"YA THINK!!!! Carlisle…..I….I…don't even know what to do…and Rosalie…Haley…I just-"

"It will be fine…she's…..she's amazing" I said as I stood up, and quickly packed the box back up and rushed to place it in my office. Then I grabbed the large spiral bound books, that comprised of all that was Bella's journals.

"I'll get the door, why don't you go wash your hands and change your clothes, I don't want them to smell-" She cut me off.

"I get it….I'll meet you and the children back here" She said quickly as she rushed up to our room to wash the scent from herself.

**AN: So? What did you think? How about that journal entry? I love the way this story is coming along….Review please!**


	6. Rosalie and Emmett

**Yes, it's everyone's favorite couple….right? Ahh…anyways enjoy!**

**Haley Chapter 6. Rosalie and Emmett.**

Martina McBride "A Broken Wing"

…_He'd break her spirit down, _

_Then come loving up on her,_

_Give a little and take it back,_

_she'd tell him about her dreams, _

_He'd just shoot them down, _

_Lord he loved to make her cry, _

"_You're crazy for believing, you'll never leave the ground"_

_He said, "Only angels, know how to fly"/_

_And with a broken wing, _

_She still sings, _

_She keeps an eye on the sky, _

_With a broken wing, _

_She carries her dreams, _

_Man you ought to see her FLY…_

Carlisle's POV

I watched and listened as Rosalie and Emmett bickered about why they were here. They just sat in the front seats, yelling at each other, it was quite amusing, but I knew what came after the bickering and I was on a tight schedule so I called out to them. Rosalie quickly spat out that 'Tanya, must have hussied her slutty self so much, that the human men began to talk, and that maybe, it got back to the Volturi'. While Emmett yelled back, that he believed that 'we were here to band together with the Denali's to fight some random clan that was bothering them'. After they both had yelled out there "reasons for why we are here", they exited the vehicle.

Within seconds they were standing before me, with inquiring and nervous stares. I motioned them to follow me, and then to sit down in the living room. Emmett pulled Rosalie beside him in the large couch next to Esme, who reclaimed her seat on the loveseat. I stood off to the side in front of the blazing fireplace, facing them all.

Rosalie looked around nervously and took in her surroundings. She could tell I was nervous and that Esme's hands were trembling. But even after all the suspicious glances, her eyes landed on the large roaring fireplace.

"Why is there a fire?…..and why do I smell human food?……… We aren't going to have to pretend to eat, because you invited some doctors to dinner, are we?" She whined.

"Yeah! What's up with the fire, and who are we here to fight?" Emmett asked excitedly, before receiving a slap to the back of the head from Rosalie.

"We aren't here to fight anyone, and we don't have dinner guests" I said sternly to Emmett, and watched as his shoulders slumped in disappointment.

"Where are Jasper and Alice?" Rosalie questioned with sudden worry lacing her voice.

"Alice and Jasper are fine, they aren't here yet, because I thought it would be best if I spoke to you two first" I replied quietly.

"Is it Edward? Did he……did he finally………you know?" She questioned sorrowfully.

"No….your brother is fine….as far as I know. I spoke to him a week ago" I said sadly.

"So…why are we here then…I thought we were at least going to be killing something" Emmett whined.

"The only thing you will be killing is your prey, solely for nourishment, so stop asking" Esme scolded quickly.

"Ok, OK! So why are we here?" He pouted. I began pacing again and rubbing the back of my neck, vigorously.

"Just start like you did earlier honey" Esme cooed. I nodded and sent a warm smile towards my wife, I knew having her here would make this easier.

"Emmett, Rosalie…..Tanya called me yesterday morning and asked me to come here to Alaska, I had some of the same thoughts and questions as you do. But, once I arrived I realized I was wrong. Tanya, was actually quite upset with me, and the entire family. She-" Rosalie cut me off.

"She?… She has the audacity to be mad at…US?" Rosalie asked, appalled. Tanya and Rosalie had never gotten along. The only things that they shared in common was their beauty, and the fact Edward hadn't wanted either one of them; other than that, they were opposites, and they could barely stand each other.

"Rose, please let me finish" I asked exasperated.

"Oh, sorry" She said quietly as she ducked her head down.

"Refrain your questions and comments, till after your father finishes" Esme said sternly. Both my children nodded their heads, and gave apologetic smiles.

"As I was saying….Tanya handed me a piece of paper, and that piece of paper had been ripped from the last page and last book, in a set of journals…..I have taken those journals copied them and comprised these identical spiral books. I would like each of you to read the book I hand you. I would like to ask each of you to….read your book in it's entirety, before you make any comments. The entries in the book, should answer almost any question you may have for me…..I have to warn you though…what has been written is intense, heartbreaking, and painful to read. Please take your time and I will answer any questions you may have once your done. It took your mother about twenty minutes to read through it thoroughly…I ask that you do not get caught up on one thing or another, just read….and, as a family we will have to sit down and process this new information later…so, please begin" I said as confident and professionally as I could.

Emmett's POV

Bella…..the sweet and funny, accident prone little sister, I never knew I wanted, but loved once I had her. She was also the one human, that I have ever missed. I knew she loved us, how could she not? So, she had loved us, and we loved her in return. When we left, it was one of the hardest things I had ever done….and even though I am super hot and macho…and I don't do the pansy-ass shit that Jasper and Edward do….I actually cried….well I don't have tears, but….never mind…. I missed her more than words could say, and that's the main reason we had moved to Washington not very long ago……and that's why Rose and I had began the program to help kids with self esteem.

I think about Bella daily, every time I see a kid blush, or trip. I saw her in every brunette's face, in every pale skinny girls body, and in every pair of large brown eyes. I held Rose every night as she tore herself down, for what she had done. I would tell her every time that it wasn't her fault, that Bella was happy and had a baby by now. That always seemed to lessen Rose's guilt. But I think every member of the family except for the idiot I call a brother, believes that Bella could be happy, but could never find the love she had with Edward. They were soul mates……..or some shit like that.

When Bella started coming around, my family came alive. We became closer, and even more loving towards each other. It was the happiest, I had ever seen my family. And now, that same family has been ripped apart, a tear in the only thing that really matters….our hearts. And it hurts….it hurts a lot…I miss her….I miss my family…..fuck! I don't want to cry like some blubbering baby, but, I would do anything to have her back.

So....I'm not here to fight anyone….that sucks ass…..and we aren't here because Tanya's whore tendencies….Yeah I used a big word like Tendencies….so what!? Tanya's whore tendencies are not the reason……the reason I was here had to do with Bella and her….Journals? _Maybe they were full of Happy shit…like sex….or sports….I wonder if she married a quarterback?…..oooohhh or a Pitcher…..no…she liked Edward and he is lean and as unathletic as a vampire can be so……Anyway_….I flipped to the first page…

_January 21__st__. _

_They're gone. All of them. When he left he took not only my friends, but my family, my future, and my heart. I feel as if a hole has been punched through my chest. There is no way to fix it, no way it will ever heal, it will never close and scar over; no, it is a never ending, bleeding pain, that I will have to bear. But, I am thankful for the pain in a way. If it wasn't for the constant searing pain in my chest, it would just like he said, "as if he never existed". The pain is a constant reminder of the family, and the future that I lost when he left me that day in the woods, but it is a pain I will gladly bear……………………………….........................................................................................................................................................................................................I would have told Emmett, that I loved him like a brother, that he was the big brother I had always wished to have. I would have told him, that his antics, though they irritated me sometimes, brought color into my life, and made me look at the world differently. He made me realize that life shouldn't be so serious, that it should be filled with laughter and silliness. I would tell him that I would miss his hugs, and his laughter, but that I would always know how to protect myself now, if I wanted to, due to his "crazy-mad" fighting skills, that he passed onto me………………………………..._

She had thought of me as a brother? I brought her the same happiness she had given me? I missed giving her those hugs, the way she would choke for air, and then turn bright red. My heart ached more than before, because I never wanted to leave…and now I wished I didn't…no matter how happy she may be with her baby, and….husband? Whatever, I just wished she here. I wish I could tell her that she made me happy….and it wasn't because she would trip or fall, or because I loved teasing Edward about their relationship….no….it's because I loved her like a sister, and a part of me stayed behind in Forks, the day we left.

I continued to read her journals, and the more I read the less I wanted to. If I could vomit, I probably would have….I surely wanted to. I wanted to kill him….that little piece of shit Mike Newton….I didn't even like him back then…I should have killed him back then! And then there was Haley….She sounded awesome, and all the stories she would tell, and Bella would tell with me in them, sounded….fun? Of course I was Human in them so…me entering a pie eating contest and winning…would have never actually happened…but they sounded great anyways. I kept reading, wondering when Bella, was going to bust some of my "crazy-mad" fighting moves on Mike's sorry ass…..but she never did…..because……….….she didn't care…..and that tore my heart more than it had been. We should have stayed, we should have protected her….if we only had known…..Man, we fucked up….BAD! She has been through so much….so much pain, so much pain…Too much pain!

Rosalie's POV

My dead heart jumped when I realized this was Bella's journal. I cry every night for her…for my family…for Edward. I never hated her, I didn't even dislike her really. It's just that she had the choice! A choice I never got….she could have EVERYTHING…..and now as I opened to the first page of her Journal I was going to read, about how she got her everything….and a part of me felt good, that…even though I had been the reason that my family is in shambles now….at least I gave her this….at least my choice and my actions, weren't in vain…right?

_January 21__st__. _

_They're gone. All of them. When he left he took not only my friends, but my family, my future, and my heart. I feel as if a hole has been punched through my chest. There is no way to fix it, no way it will ever heal, it will never close and scar over; no, it is a never ending, bleeding pain, that I will have to bear. But, I am thankful for the pain in a way. If it wasn't for the constant searing pain in my chest, it would just like he said, "as if he never existed". The pain is a constant reminder of the family, and the future that I lost when he left me that day in the woods, but it is a pain I will gladly bear………………………………........................................................................................................................................................................................................ I would have told Rosalie, that, the day she told me about her past, was the day I finally understood who she was. I would have told her that I loved her, no matter, how she would act towards me, and that her strength and determination amazed me. That I wished someday to be as strong and independent as she was, that she inspired me to be a stronger more self confident person, or at least I was working towards that. _

_ I would have told Edward, that I loved him, that I would always love him. That I know I was never good enough for him, and that I never had wanted to hold him back. I would have told him that he was wrong, my mind may be human, but that I would never forget him, and my love for him would never lessen. _

_ I would have told them all, that I wish they would stay, but that I understood why they had to leave. It would have killed me to do these things, but, not nearly as much as never getting the chance to say goodbye.............................................................................. ………………………………...................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................._

_January 25__th__ .__**(A year later)**_

_I'm really tired today, and full of medications, so this entry is going to be short. I gave birth to a baby girl today…she is beautiful…and she looks like __**Him. **__ I don't know if her looks are a burden, or a gift,…either way, I love her and she is beautiful. I hadn't known what to name her. But as soon as I held her in my arms, and she opened her lovely eyes…. I knew. __**Haley Ann Swan. **__I may not know what the future holds for us both, but I will pray each and every day that she grows up strong, and beautiful, and independent, just like Rosalie. _

_ So, Haley Ann, named after the only person that I think can understand my pain. I know Rosalie hadn't been very accommodating to me….but I loved her just the same. I knew she was only trying to protect me, and help me. And so now, every time I say my baby's name, I will think of her. I will draw from her strength and survive for my daughter…because now I have something to live for!_

_ Haley's middle name represents the one person, I have ever loved. Edward's middle name Anthony. I know that Mike is to ignorant to figure out where Haley's name came from, and in a way……….__**from now on, my lost family, will never be any further from me, than my baby girl.**__ I would like to thank God, for giving me this happiness….this miracle! _

_With all that I have…._

_ B._

I continued to read. Struggling with the emotions surging through my body. Each day seemed harder for her. Each Year more painful than the last. I rubbed my eyes, ferociously, as venom pooled in them. I wanted to cry, I wanted to shed tears for her, I wanted to pay penance someway, because this was my fault. I had caused this pain, this suffering. I broke down, more than I have ever before,( and that was saying a lot) as I finished the last page. Emmett grabbed me and place me on his lap. He wrapped his massive arms around me, and cried with me. What had I done? I had RUINED EVERYTHING! I had been selfish and heartless….and EVIL!

She loved me….she loved me even though I was awful to her. She understood me, all of me, even the parts most people never see. She named her child after me! JESUS! There is a little girl out there, who lived this life…..there is a beautiful child, who had only lived with the love of her mother, and love from people that "technically" didn't exist. And Bella had protected her….with her own body…and with fantasies, and stories. Bella was stronger than I ever thought, any human could be…..and if this history, this horrendous story of her life after us, was her human destiny…I was wrong! So very, very…..very wrong!….and I have never been wrong! I thought she deserved a human life, with children, and grandchildren, with the knowledge that it could be taken away easily, and so she would know to live it to the fullest! But……I was wrong…. She deserved **her **happily ever after, the one she would have chosen, the one that would have kept her safe and happy, with the love of her life….she deserved Edward, and my family…..though we didn't even deserve to even mutter her name, or even exist in her presence…..and I helped take all of that away from her…and left her to a life that was so graphic and horrible, it's surprising she even survived….

This was too much…..way too much…..she had been through so much, too much, way, way too much, distress, and tragedy, pain and suffering….what have I done?

Carlisle's POV.

I watched as my children's sad, but excited faces, fell. And the pain and anguish took over. The haunted expression on both of their faces, matched Esme's, and I was sure mine too. The read page by page, the more they read, the closer they scooted towards each other. With each tale of a brutal beating, or emotional tirade, their eyes, took on a deep sadness.

Emmett held Rosalie, as she cried un-shed tears….as she screamed out in horror and anguish…and as her self-hatred filled the air like thick black smoke…..choking us all. It wasn't her fault….it wasn't any of our faults…….this was not the life we would have wanted for Bella…or anyone…it was a mistake, a stupid one, followed by other stupid mistakes….but, we were guilty of negligence…nothing else…even though, none of us could currently use that to ease our minds.….but, if we were ever to survive this…if we were ever to help Bella, and be there for Haley……and help Edward overcome this…tragedy…..we had to be like a Phoenix………. my family needed to process this reality, burning themselves to death on a pyre, of guilt, and sadness….but then from those ashes, we needed to arise, reborn as a stronger, healthier family…..and I….I was going to make sure that happened. First things first, though. I had to get Rosalie to pull herself together, Haley would be here any minute.

**AN: Well? what do you think? please review!!!!**


	7. The Bitch, the Bear, and the Baby

**This chapter was fun to write! My friend Nellie has been waiting for this chapter, since I first told her about writing Haley! So enjoy! Oh and please, you tube, or I-tunes, each of the songs that start out the chapters, I wrote each chapter while listening to it's corresponding song…just to set the mood….anywho enjoy!**

**Chapter 7. The Bitch, the Bear, and the Baby.**

Mest, "Return to Self-Loathing"

_Sick of the way I am feeling, _

_Waking up, watching myself slipping, _

_Should I just take out my eyes?_

_No longer want them for this life/_

_Losing my mind once again, _

_Stranding my thoughts, _

_(No matter what I said)/_

_Sleepless nights staring at the ceiling, _

_Sanity running on empty, _

_Try to block my mind of this, _

_And pretend it doesn't exist/_

_Losing my mind once again, _

_Stranding my thoughts, _

_(no matter what I said)/_

_Taken for granted again, _

_Stranding my thoughts again _

_No matter what I said/_

_Torn inside broken mind, _

_Torn on the inside, _

_Broken mind, torn inside, _

_Torn on the inside/_

_Torn on the inside, _

_(Torn on the inside)_

_Constantly reminded…._

I cried and screamed until I could no longer find the energy. My loving husband cooing and comforting me, even though, I knew he was in pain, the whole time. Emmett loved Bella, and they had formed a strong sibling like, relationship. He hadn't been the same since we left forks. The light that used to twinkle and shine in his eyes, was gone. His childlike demeanor, and love of life, was also gone. Even his sweet dimpled, baby like face, seemed to of aged, though I knew it couldn't. He held on to his grief, just like we all had. We all felt the loss, not only of Bella, but of our own little family. We were no longer the people we had been. We were dislocated from one another…living apart, with only our partners beside us.

Edward…..well………Edward just dwelled in his grief. Unlike most of us, who found ways to cope……he just….floated….he didn't care, he barely ate, he just…..was. He never came around….barely called….we had not just lost a sister, but we lost our brother. It may be slightly harsh to say, but, if Edward had separated from the family before Bella…..my family wouldn't be like this….we would have been saddened of course. Esme and Carlisle, would have taken it hard….but he was, just a statue in our home. He rarely played the piano, we would never see him, unless it was at school. He had just gone through the motions, for Esme's sake. So if he had left back then…..my family would have made it through. We would have stuck together, and it may have even brought us closer than before.

But Edward came alive, when he met Bella. He became a person we didn't even recognize. He was happy, he played his piano, he danced, he hung out with the guys, he hunted with us. He became an actual brother. And it was nice to see him as a person, rather than an object…..She had given him the gift of love, and humanity……she had changed him.

So when he left her…..then left us……the pain was more than we could bare. Everything was a constant reminder….we all lost our happiness….we lost the will to be a family…..we just……………………..lost. You could see it in all our faces….you could see it in our eyes…..it was in the way our shoulders slumped, the way our heads hung down, it was in the frown that adorned each of our faces………but now……what makes it much worse……..is that it had been in vain……..we lost everything…..for nothing……and the consequences that came from our actions, will haunt us for eternity.

I was awaken from my own personal self-loathing, bubble, as I heard a car slowly approaching the house. I heard Carlisle and Esme take in quick un-needed breaths. My head snapped up, as millions of questions ran through my mind.

"Where is Bella?" I asked. Emmett's head snapped up.

"Yeah Carlisle, where is Bella….how did you get these?"

I stared at Carlisle as he began to massage the back of his neck. Esme quickly stood up and wrapped her arms around him. This action, cause hundreds of scenario's to run through my head….all of them ending, in a terrifying soul-bleeding, funeral.

"Oh my God" I gasped.

"NO! no no no no no no no" Emmett yelled as he hung his head, and began to rock himself back and forth. I got up from his lap and asked once again with pleading eyes.

"Where. Is. Bella?"

The gut-wrenching sob that tore it's way from Esme's throat, made my knees buckle, and I fell onto the floor, trembling.

"She's alive" Carlisle said in an un-easy voice. Once again my head whipped up in his direction.

"Then where is she Carlisle?"

"In the hospital" He said quietly.

"Then lets go see her, I missed her so much…..we'll make this better right? We will steal her away, and the family can go somewhere, and it will be fine, she'll be fine-" Emmett said quickly as he shot up from the couch and grabbed my hand, and started pulling me to the door, with his vampire strength and speed. Just before his hand grasped the door knob, Carlisle, sighed in frustration, causing us both to turn around and face him. Esme still clutching his waist, as if, she was holding her self up, using his body for support.

"She's in a coma Emmett…..we can't go see her right now" Carlisle muttered.

"I'll fucking kill him!" Emmett roared.

"She shot him" Carlisle stated plainly with no emotion.

"So, his is dead?" Emmett questioned wearyingly.

"Emmett! Let's focus on what is important right now! And what is important, hasn't even gotten out of surgery, because her brain has been hemorrhaging!" Carlisle Practically snarled.

"Is she going to be ok?" I asked as I rushed to Carlisle.

"I have no clue. From what I know…..it…..doesn't look good" Carlisle said. My trembling hand was covering my mouth now. I was truly horrified.

"But….but she had surgery, and it will fix her….it should fix her!" Emmett practically cried out.

"I….I have no answers right now son….Brains are tricky…she could recover and be completely fine….or she could have brain damage……or she could never wake up……you never know……" Carlisle said sadly, his doctor voice, wavering.

"But…..there is a good chance she'll be fine?….she has to be….right?" Emmett pleaded, only wanting one answer, that Carlisle couldn't give him.

"I don't know….and I won't know more until later today…..I've made some calls and as soon as she is out of surgery, I'll be taking over…..I'll have a better idea of where she's at….mentally, and physically…and then and only then will have any answers for you" Carlisle said apologetically.

Before we could continue our conversation anymore, the front door flew open. Tanya Denali stood in the doorway, her golden eyes darkening as they scanned the room, and finally landed on me.

"YOU!" She growled as she pointed a perfectly manicured red nail at me.

"Uh? Can I help you?" I said venomously with a raise eyebrow. Because I normal can't stand this bitch….but….now she thinks she can just bust into our home unannounced, and give me attitude? I have way….way, to much shit to think about and process, with out having some SKANK…fuck with me right now.

"No…you can't" She spat.

"Then what the fuck do you want? We are having a family thing right now…so please…do tell…?"

"You and I need to have a talk" Her eyes flashed with fierceness.

"Do you think it could wait till a later time Tanya?" Carlisle questioned carefully.

"No" She said flatly

"But…isn't Carmen in the car with her right now? Remember you were just supposed to bring her, and then leave?" he hedged

"UGH! Like I would allow her, to be here, with Rosalie…we all know what kind of damage she is capable of"

"WHAT!" I screamed as I lunged at her, being grabbed by Emmett and pulled back, only inches from her, slutty face.

"That's just about enough! Absolutely enough….now if you have something to say to Rosalie, then I suggest you to make your way to the living room and talk there…make it short and sweet….and no more of this bickering BULLSHIT!" Esme growled. Everyone of our jaws dropped. Esme never cussed….EVER.

"I have nothing to say to her, and I don't want to hear anything either" I said petulantly.

"Look….I'm going to say this once and only once, and I'm going to say it fast because, we are wasting important time……Tanya is the one who found Bella, remember, and so she was the first one to read the journals. Tanya is quite protective of Bella and Haley now….so she has concerns….ones that I am sure are a little EXTREME, but concern none the less…so…Rose, you will go into the front room and let her say what she has to say, and Tanya you need to take inventory….we are all just as upset and distraught about this, if not more than you are…keep that under consideration…you both have less than five minutes to talk…..Go." Carlisle scolded.

So I motioned for Tanya to walk ahead of me to the living room with my middle finger. "This way please" I smiled sweetly, pointing like a stewardess….well, like a stewardess who was showing the exits with her middle finger.

"Say whatever the fuck you need to, I need to get back to my family!" I bit out as Tanya and I reached the living room. She spun around to face me, and if I didn't know how much she sucked at fighting I would have actually been scared. She stared me as she scoffed at my comment. I rolled my eyes at her ridiculous display of bitchiness.

"Your family is just fine…or as fine as one can been after their have been basically destroyed by you!" She spat out.

"WHAT! OH HELL NO! LET ME TELL YOU A LITTLE SOMETHING ABOUT YOU, THAT YOU MAY BE UNAWARE OF!" I screamed as I lunged at her. I gripped onto her hair as her body fell, my on top of it. I was screaming bloody murder as I pinned her to the ground. With a fist full of hair and an arm in each hand.

"GET THE FUCK OFF ME…YOU BITCH!" She screamed up at me struggling.

"I'll kill you!" I screamed back down to her.

"It's all you fault! YOU! You are the reason everyone left her! YOUR FAULT!" She screamed up at my face. I let go of her as these words hit me where it really hurt….my heart, my guilt. Tanya used her feet and kicked me off of her. Throwing my body back, causing me to slam against the wall; I hit it and slid down. Tanya jumped up and ran over to me. The first kick hurt, as much as the third. The fifth punch to my face also hurt, but, I took the pain….I deserved the pain. I let Tanya wail on me relentlessly. With each hit my body took, I smiled. I smiled because I was taking my own punishment for what Bella had gone through; I was feeling the pain she did….it was a piece of my penance.

"Fight Back you bitch! Fight me! I've waited for this…." Tanya screamed as I said nothing and just absorbed this intense beating.

"Fight back Rosalie! Get up! Fight me!" She continued to scream, as her hits lessened.

"No." I said quietly.

"Why not…you deserve to get your ass kicked!" She screamed, as her fist collided with my jaw.

"I know" I whispered. And as the words left my mouth, Tanya ceased her fury.

"What do you mean, you KNOW?" She screamed.

"I deserve this" I whispered again, defeated.

"Uh" Tanya huffed half confused, half frustrated, that her plan wasn't working out the way she had figured.

"It's all my fault…don't you think I know that? I figured that out months after we left! Everything is my fault….I deserve this….and much more and much worse." I sobbed.

My admission caused Tanya to fall to her knees in front of me. She brushed the blonde hair from my face and eyed me carefully.

"You….You are actually admitting your…._Wrong?_" She asked quizzically. I just nodded, casting my eyes to the floor; I was so ashamed.

"Oh Rosalie….." She sobbed.

"NO! Don't you dare pity me!" I screamed at her.

"It not solely your fault…..you were just being the stubborn bitch you are……I just….I had no idea….you actually….cared…..I was mad at you cause I thought you wouldn't….care." She cried out.

"Such a Rosalie thing to do huh?" I laughed, at how horrible I used to be.

"Yeah" She scoffed.

"Not one of us Cullen's are the same people we used to be……we…..we lost everything…when….GOD!" I screamed.

"You should have never left!"

"Edward thought it was best….I was just a self-absorbed bitch….Tanya, look at what I have done…not just to Bella….but to my family!" I cried. She moved forward, grabbing me up into a hug.

"Yeah….Edward…..if it's anyone's fault….it's his" She growled.

"I'm sure he had no idea this would have happened."

"But his self-absorbed egotistical, Jackass self…..pft….he should have never made the decision…Bella's heart would still be destroyed, even if the rest of you would have stayed." She cooed. And at that point I realized she was right. Maybe a little too right, because I wanted to blame someone else….and well….if we were going to be mad at someone…..anyway, he is the one who wanted to leave her first…I just did what he knew I would…..YES! It's definitely Edward's fault….

"I'm going to beat the UN-LIVING shit out of him!" I seethed as I made up my mind that Edward was to blame. The rest of us are only guilty of negligence; we should have checked up on her. But, then again, Alice's vision…..Yeah, it's Edward's fault.

"That's the Rosalie, I know……You and I could make quite a team when Edward shows up" She winked.

"Damn straight" I nodded as she extended her hand to me.

Emmett POV

"This way please" Rosalie smiled sweetly, using her "bird finger" to direct Tanya to the living room. I quickly turned my head, to cover up the shit-eating grin I was wearing.

"Emmett, don't encourage her" Esme quietly.

"Sorry it's just-" I was quickly cut of when Rosalie's voice rang out from the living room.

"Say whatever the fuck you need to, I need to get back to my family!" Ooooh, Rosalie is going to scare the shit out of Tanya.

"Your family is just fine…or as fine as one can been after their have been basically destroyed by you!"

I began to walk towards the living room. That was just out of line, and Rosalie had been under too much emotional shit today. Tanya must be off her rocker.

"WHAT! OH HELL NO! LET ME TELL YOU A LITTLE SOMETHING ABOUT YOU, THAT YOU MAY BE UNAWARE OF!" Rosalie screamed out.

Carlisle grabbed my arm and pulled me outside, with Esme following. Once Esme quietly shut the door behind her Carlisle began to talk.

"Look Tanya, has some things to get off her chest. I know what she said was out of line, but Rosalie will be just fine."

"Carlisle…she'll…she's gonna break down….I know it" I whined.

"I think it's ok" Esme said quietly.

"But-" I interjected, and got cut off by Carlisle.

"It's for the best…there is someone here to meet you and Esme….Why don't you go get her from the car?" Carlisle smiled nervously.

"Uh….whatever" I said as I turned and began walking towards, the Denali's car. I couldn't focus on anything but the screaming and sounds of walls being broken inside the house. I was awoken from my daze, by Carmen; as she wrapped her slim arms around my waist.

"Oh Emmett, it's so nice to see you again" She chirped, as if there wasn't two girls fighting to the death….or un-death…inside the house. Thank god, our house was sound proof, if it wasn't, people would probably hear them two from miles away.

"Nice to see you Carmen…uh….Carlisle said someone is here to see us?" I asked still distracted, since the majority of the screaming had stopped in the house.

"Yeah…in the back seat" She giggled.

"Oooookay…." I said annoyed by her evasiveness. I took a few more steps and opened the car door. I stumbled back as a pair of piercing green eyes looked up at me. I continued to walk backwards until I tripped on a rock, causing me to fall onto my ass.

A small female child unequaled in her beauty crawled out of the back seat, laughing.

"Oh Uncle Whenmet…your so funny" she giggled as she ran to me. I was just frozen in place, as she continued to sprint towards me. Once she reached me she jumped and tackled my huge form, causing me to fall onto my back. I just laid there, confused, and to be honest…..a little scared. Her long ringlets, cascaded down as she sat on top of me, while she looked down.

"What are you doing silly?" She giggled again.

"Just….uh………….laying here?" I stared back up at her.

"Momma said you were funny…..but….she also said you were struwrong" She laughed, as she sat up, looked at me, slapped her right elbow with her left hand, and then slammed it down on my chest; as if she was a WWE wrestler. She didn't do it hard enough to cause herself any harm, but it was awesome none the less.

"Are you Haley, munchkin?" I chirped as I realized who she was.

"Uh huh!" She nodded enthusiastically, only inches from my face.

"Well….hello then" I chuckled.

" I think your past the introduction part Emmett" Carlisle chuckled, looking down at both Haley and I.

"Yeah, your past the enterduckyshawn" Haley giggled as she patted my cheek with her little chubby hand.

"Oh so now you think your funny huh munchkin?" I asked as I grabbed her and sat up. I began to tickle her, and she squealed in delight.

"Way funnwhere than you" She said in between her screams.

"Oh I don't think so" I laughed, as she continued to squirm around.

"Hey now.….it's my turn" Esme whined. Haley's head snapped up in her direction. I stood up, while keeping her in my arms.

"Yeah, don't hog my Granddaughter" Carlisle said, starring at Haley, who was positioned on my hip.

"But I'm so much cooler than you two" I laughed, and Haley giggled.

"Yeah….but….Oh Hell, just share her" Carlisle laughed.

"Oooohhhhhhhh that's a bary bary bad word Grandpa Carwhile….." Haley said as Esme and I erupted into laughter.

"Shame shame" she said as she moved her head back and forth, causing me to laugh harder.

"Sorry Precious…your right….we shouldn't say words like that" Carlisle agreed, his eyes brighter than I had ever seen them. Haley just peered back at him with a huge smile gracing her plump lips.

"Uh…..hi Haley….do you….uh….do you know who I am?" Esme asked nervously, while shifting from foot to foot.

"Grandma S-may duh" Haley chirped, causing us all to laugh again.

"That's right Angel….are you excited that you get to stay with us for a while?" Esme asked sweetly.

"I'm weally weally weally, excited!" She practically yelled as she held her arms out in Esme's direction; motioning that she wanted Esme to hold her. Esme's eyes teared up with venom that would never fall, as she reached and took her small granddaughter into her arms.

**AN: isn't that just precious? let me know…REVIEW!!!!**


	8. Holding The World

**Hey everyone, I am soooooo sorry I haven't posted a chapter in months…but life has been hectic! I hadn't written a new chapter in a long time, but I finally had a chance to write a few, and so now Im posting them for your pleasure. I received a message from a reader the other day that said "PLEASE learn to use commas"…my reaction to that is "Eat me,,,,,,,,,,,,,"…I'm an okie with horrible grammar…I've learned to live with it, you should also! so if my grammar offends you, then stop reading…if you can put up with it, then I hope you enjoy the story that I write ****…. so here it is…Esme's reaction to Haley…Enjoy**

**Chapter 8. Holding the World.**

"Shenandoah" United States Air Force Band

(No lyrics, it's classical. The harmony and flow of the song says enough)

Esme's POV

"Your family is just fine…or as fine as one can been after their lives have been basically destroyed by you!" I heard Tanya yell.

And with that statement Emmett began to walk towards the living room. I understood his reaction, mine would have been the same. That was out of line, and quite harsh. Rosalie already believed that she was the reason my family had been torn apart; Well in reality, she held herself 40% responsible and Edward 60%, but her guilt was a heavy burden to bear. Combine years of regret and anguish, with all the information she had just read, it just might break her completely. One of two things was going happen; one: Rosalie would viciously attack and kill Tanya, or two: She will collapse from the pressure.

"WHAT! OH HELL NO! LET ME TELL YOU A LITTLE SOMETHING ABOUT YOU, THAT YOU MAY BE UNAWARE OF!" Rosalie screamed out; and I realized that option one had just been chosen….poor Tanya.

Carlisle grabbed Emmett's arm, just before he made his way into the living room, and I sent a prayer to the man upstairs. Though Emmett had good intentions, I would hate to see the mess he would create by ripping Tanya apart. I could only imagine the Denali's horrified and angry reaction. But, the hatred and disappointment from Rosalie was sure to follow, whether or not he was just trying to "Help".

Carlisle pulled Emmett through the foyer and through the front door, and I quickly followed, closing it quietly behind me.

"Look Tanya, has some things to get off her chest. I know what she said was out of line, but Rosalie will be just fine." Carlisle stated plainly to Emmett.

"Carlisle…she'll…she's gonna break down….I know it" Emmett whined; and my heart went out to him. He just wanted to protect the love of his life, from anymore pain; no matter what the consequences might be. I had to deflate this muscle filled balloon before it popped.

"I think it's ok" I said nodding reassuringly to Emmett.

"But-" Emmett blurted out but, got cut off by Carlisle.

"It's for the best…there is someone here to meet you and Esme….Why don't you go get her from the car?" Carlisle smiled nervously, as my dead heart felt like it was hammering in my chest. Haley was in the Denali's car, waiting to meet us all.

"Uh….whatever" He said as he turned and began walking towards, the Denali's car, in a daze. Clearly listening to the "cat-fight" that was currently taking place in my living room. It wasn't until Carmen hugged Emmett, before he snapped out of his….I'm sure…creepy fantasy of his wife and Tanya.

"Oh Emmett, it's so nice to see you again" She chirped, as if there wasn't two girls fighting to the death….or un-death…inside my house. Thank god, our house was sound proof, if it wasn't, people would probably hear those two from miles away.

"Nice to see you Carmen…uh….Carlisle said someone is here to see us?" he asked distracted by the sudden eerie silence permeating from inside our home.

"Yeah…in the back seat" Carmen laughed, her excitement getting the best of her.

"Oooookay…." Emmett drawled in annoyance, as he stepped gingerly towards the car. I was vibrating with excitement, as I waited for the first glimpse of Haley. I was terrified she wouldn't know who I was, or that she would be scared of me. I had already fallen in love with her, as I read through Bella's detailed journals. It was as if I watched her grow up, even though all I knew was that she was describe as beautiful and an angel, with curly bronze hair. Apparently she looked similar to Edward, but, to be honest, Bella clearly had not gotten over my son, and so she may projected some of her longing for him, onto her daughter. I wouldn't blame her of course, I missed my son too, and believed I saw him no matter where I went.

I held my breath as Emmett opened the car door. Carlisle let out a large laugh as Emmett's shocked figure stumbled back from the car. I stood on the tips of my toes, straining for a glimpse of Haley. The black car door was in the way, and my eyes traveled back to Emmett who had accidentally tripped on a rock and fell onto his backside. Who knew vampires could trip? Carlisle's infectious laugh rang beautifully through the air, as Emmett tumbled to the ground. My eyes glanced back to the car, searching for Haley once again.

First a pair of pink Uggs, dangled precariously from the bottom of the car door. My breath caught once again, as sweet little calves covered in dark grey and pink pokadot leggings followed those adorable pink Uggs towards the ground. A flash of undeniably gorgeous bronze curls bounced there way towards Emmett, and I grabbed Carlisle's hand tightly, as we walked towards my son the Bear, and my new granddaughter who quickly, reminded me of Goldilocks.

Her sweet bell-like voice rang out in between her inviting laughter; I had never heard such a sweet and awe inspiring voice in all my years. Even the most beautiful vampire voice could not hold a candle to her melodic laughter, or her satin-like voice, that wrapped around you like a warm fuzzy blanket.

Emmett lay on the ground frozen, as if he was a statue, as she ran towards him. "Oh Uncle Whenmet…your so funny" she giggled as she approached. Then she flung herself at Emmett's large frame, as if she had known him for years, and had done this often. As her small body softly collided with Emmett, he fell on to his back, bringing her down with him. I began to chuckle along with Carlisle as I caught sight of Emmett's face. He was clearly confused, but what made me laugh was the utter terror radiating from his eyes. I had still not seen the little angel's face as her shiny ringlets, shielded both of them from my view.

"What are you doing silly?" Haley giggled as her chubby porcelain hand poked Emmett's chest.

"Just….uh….laying here?" I heard Emmett stutter back in response.

"Momma said you were funny…..but….she also said you were struwrong" Haley quickly retorted. Causing Carlisle to laugh again and me to giggle. Haley quickly raised herself up from Emmett's massive frame. Then unexpectedly, she slapped her right elbow with her left hand, and then fell elbow first back onto Emmett.

" I think those two are going to get along just fine" Carlisle laughed quietly to himself; I nodded my head in agreement. I still had not seen Haley's face, but from the way that Emmett stared up at her, I knew she was beautiful and special. My heart melted with joy, as I watched Emmett's eyes change from wary, to the look of complete love and adoration.

"Are you Haley, munchkin?" Emmett asked excitedly.

"Uh huh!" Haley nodded causing her silky curls to bounce along, as she leaned closer to Emmett's face.

"Well….hello then" He laughed, and my heart leapt with joy; I hadn't heard Emmett sound so…alive in years. Carlisle tugged on my hand and pulled me along with him.

" I think your past the introduction part Emmett" Carlisle chuckled, as we finally stopped a few feet from him.

"Yeah, your past the enterduckyshawn" Haley giggled as she patted Emmett's cheek, as if he was the younger one of the two.

"Oh so now you think your funny… huh munchkin?" He asked as he grabbed her and sat up and began to tickle her, causing her to squeal.

"Way funnwhere than you" She forced out in between her screams of delight.

"Oh I don't think so" He laughed, continuing his assault on her. I began to get impatient, I really wanted to know what her face looked like, and more than that I wanted to talk to her. My arms tingled with want; they longed to hold her. My lips, longed to kiss her sweet head. My voice longed to sing to her. And my body vibrated, wanting to be nearer.

"Hey now.….it's my turn" I pleaded finally, once I felt as if I could not control myself any longer. And it was then that my world completely stopped. First, all I could see was green, a dark shimmering green. No emerald or precious gem could match to faucets in her deep eyes. It was if I couldn't look away from them, as if they held me captive. They warmed my body, and gave me a new meaning of life. It was as if they were a secret treasure, I had been searching for, from the beginning of time. Or like the first sip of water after walking through a desert for years. I felt happy and…..almost complete, by simply being in their view. I followed them as Emmett began to stand up, clutching Haley to his side, and placing her on his hip.

"Yeah, don't hog my Granddaughter" Carlisle said, breaking my current trance like state; only to be caught into another one. The child that was perched upon Emmett's hip, was breathtaking. Her creamy flawless skin, flowed lovely around her soft yet sharp features. I couldn't help but gape a her; she looked so much like her mother, but yet, so much like my son. I had never, in all my years, in all the photographs, television shows, books, or real life faces, seen such a glorious child. Her creamy rose tinged skin reminded me of her mothers; it was as fair and flawless, but held more life to it, as if it glowed, or created it's own sunshine. Her shiny thick ringlet hair flowed to the middle of her back, it was wild, yet tame at the same time; the color almost identical to Edward's, except for the scattered strands that held a golden brown color, causing her hair to be a shade darker, that could only be deciphered by a keen vampire's eyesight.

"But I'm so much cooler than you two" Emmett joked, causing Haley to giggle, and Carlisle to fidget, with frustration. I guess my body was not the only one yearning to hold her.

"Yeah….but….Oh Hell, just share her" Carlisle laughed, as he couldn't come up with a better reason.

"Oooohhhhhhhh that's a bary bary bad word Grandpa Carwhile….." Haley said disapprovingly, and finally I laughed loudly for the first time in years. My face lighting up with joy, like it once had.

"Shame shame" she said as she moved her head back and forth, causing us to only laugh much harder, and Carlisle to hang his head in shame.

"Sorry Precious…your right….we shouldn't say words like that" Carlisle agreed, and I turned to look at his face. He was smiling like a fool, his eyes sparkling with love and happiness, the way the used to. No…they shined brighter than they used to, and it made my heart warm even more. I followed his view and saw that he was smiling at Haley as she smiled back at him, echoing the same love and hope. My heart dropped to my stomach as I realized that she may not ever look at me that way, though I didn't know why. I was so nervous she wouldn't know me, or be attached to me the same way she had become to Emmett and Carlisle.

I swallowed the venom that had risen up like bile in my throat, and shifted my feet in preparation; "Uh…..hi Haley….do you….uh….do you know who I am?" I asked cautiously, bracing myself for disappointment,

"Grandma S-may duh" Haley quipped, rolling her eyes dramatically. I let out a sigh of relief before joining Emmett and Carlisle in laughter.

"That's right Angel….are you excited that you get to stay with us for a while?" I cooed, smiling from my soul.

"I'm weally weally weally, excited!" She said excitedly, as she motioned that she wanted me to hold her. It was at that moment that I wish I could cry, I wanted to feel the tears of joy that should have been falling down my cheeks; searing this moment onto my soul for eternity. But I just blinked away the venom that pooled in my eyes, for, it would never fall.

I reached towards my new granddaughter, and I took her in my arms, I felt as if I was holding the world; and to be honest…..I was.

"Grandma S-may…is this where you live"? Haley asked sweetly as her eyes took in the massive house behind me.

"Well…it's the family's home and where are going to be living here a while. Carlisle and I have actually been living in Montana, but-" Carlisle cut my rambling off.

" I think a simple yes, would have sufficed Grandma" He laughed, and I giggled a little myself. It had been years since I have been around a child like this, and even those memories where fuzzy human ones. My heart soared as I repeated the world 'Grandma' over and over in my head. Then I quietly reminded my self that I was going to have to simplify my sentences from now on….however, Haley seemed quite smart for such a young child. It seemed as if she was trying to really hard to pronounce her words correctly, and that she was focusing on truly understand the meaning behind each word spoken around her.

"Then yes, Haley, this is where I live….and where your going to live for right now" I laughed as I clutched her tighter to my body; her warmth and heartbeat seeping into my stone form.

"Until Mommy wakes up"? She asked sadly, and it took all the energy I had not to break down and cry.

"Yes angel…..and hopefully after that" I smiled through venom filled eyes.

"Do you like my new clothes, Grandma S-may? Auntie Tanya got 'em for me….I think there Purdy!" She beamed. I looked at her dark grey cable knit sweater that went to her mid thigh, and tied fashionably around her little waist. It was matched perfectly to the dark grey in her pokadot leggings, that snuggly clutched to her adorable legs, ending in the cute-as-pie pink Ugg boots; I laughed as I realized she looked like baby-gap had thrown-up on her; but then grinned even more, thinking what Alice would have to say about her niece wearing something out of a department store.

"You look gorgeous angel" I beamed back to her, her sweet baby face blushed a soft rose, as she avoided my gaze; _So much like her mother_' I thought to myself as I laughed again.

"Thank you" She said shyly.

"Hey I think you look pretty too munchkin" Emmett whined, officially popping the sweet bubble I had surrounded my self and Haley in.

"And your blush is even more beautiful precious" Carlisle cooed.

"Okay you two, stop making the poor girl blush, she may turn in to a tomato!" I laughed carefree.

"Yeah! What she said!" Haley huffed, and then smiled mischievously.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever munch-" Emmett froze, his eyes glazing over with sadness.

Carlisle quickly followed Emmett's intense gaze, and his smile fell. I turned to see what they were staring at, a devastated Rosalie stared right back. I clutched Haley tighter to my chest, not one of us knew what was about to happen, but all of us were scared.


	9. PB and J

**I don't own much of this…not many of the characters, none of the songs….oh but the bad grammar…yeah that's ALL mine! lol …oh, please youtube the songs I post at the beginning of every chapter; usually I listen to that song while writing the chapter, it's the mood the chapter was written in, and, I choose the song for the lyrics, usually not all the lyrics, but im sure you can figure out which ones are important ;)….oh, this chapter, all the lyrics are important btw. **

**Chapter 9. PB and J.**

Modest Mouse, "One Chance"

_We have one chance_

_One chance to get everything right_

_We have once chance_

_One chance_

_And if we're lucky we might_

_My friends, my habits, my family_

_They mean so much to me_

_I just don't think that it's right_

_I've seen so many ships sail in _

_Just to head back out again and go off sinking._

_I'm just a box in a cage_

_I'm just a box in a cage_

_I'm just a box, just a box in a cage_

_I'm just a box, just a box in a cage_

_I'm just a box, just a box in a cage_

_I'm just a box of mistakes_

Rosalie's POV

"_I'm going to beat the UN-LIVING shit out of him!" I seethed as I made up my mind that Edward was to blame. The rest of us are only guilty of negligence; we should have checked up on her. But, then again, Alice's vision…..Yeah, it's Edward's fault. _

_ "That's the Rosalie, I know…You and I could make quite a team when Edward shows up" She winked. _

_ "Damn straight" I nodded determined, as she extended her hand to me._

I grasped Tanya's hand and stood up. Tanya pulled me into a tight hug, and whispered, "This doesn't mean I forgive you Cullens".

"Hell, Tanya, I'll never forgive us!" I scoffed into her shoulder.

"Well, I just wanted to put it out there…everything isn't all better, but…..I understand and know that you are actually sorry…..so…." She trailed off.

"I don't want to get into it, Tanya….I swear, one more thing….just one more damn thing, and I'll go crazy" I half cried, half pleaded into her shoulder, and with that she took in a quick breath. I pulled back to look at her face, something was going on, and I was hell bent on finding out what it was.

"Seriously!" I whined.

"I'm sorry Rose" She whispered sadly.

It was then that I heard laughter; Emmett's laughter. A laugh I hadn't heard, (a real from the gut), laughter since we left forks. Tanya grasped my hand tightly, as she pulled me towards the front door. I began to wonder what the hell was going on, as she reached for the door knob.

"Hey I think you look pretty too munchkin" I heard Emmett whine.

_Who the hell is he talking to?_

"And your blush is even more beautiful, precious" I heard Carlisle say.

"Okay you two, stop making the poor girl blush, she may turn in to a tomato!" Esme scolded before she laughed.

_ Who are they talking to and who is making them laugh, what the hell is going on?_ I thought to myself, as I walked through the door. Then I saw her. Her…..Her! Haley…..Bella's baby girl….the child that was named after me. She was glorious. No, more than glorious, she was….there are no words for her beauty.

"Yeah! What she said!", the little doll, huffed out. I just stood there staring at her blankly, Bella had been right, she was beautiful. Just standing in this child's mere presence, caused every emotion to surge through my body, I was intrigued, and I tingled with regret, love, happiness, sadness, awe, and longing. I longed to hold her, yet I felt I had no right to. I instantly loved her, and was happy she was here. But the reasons behind her conception, and the reason we were able to know her, cut deep into my soul. I regretted ever leaving Bella, yet I regretted that I regretted it. If we had not left, Haley would have never been born…and a world without Haley, would just be….empty? I hadn't even spoke to this angel, yet I felt so….attached.

I was lost deep in thought. _Why do I love a child I've never met? Is it because I love Bella, and have Haley to project those feelings onto? Do I feel attached to her, because, of my past? Would Bella, forgive us, if she wakes up? What if she doesn't and she takes Haley, from us? Would my family survive that? Why the Hell does she look so much like Edward? What if she doesn't like me_…..

"Yeah, yeah, whatever munch-" Emmett's voice brought me back from my thoughts, yet I still continued to stare blankly towards Haley.

Suddenly I felt everyone's eyes on me. The tension in the air was thick, and I knew they were all holding their breath waiting for my reaction. I was crippled by sadness, as I gazed into a pair of Emerald green eyes. My life from this point on would be a win, win situation; however it would be a lose, lose also. I would always carry the guilt of being partially responsible for the destruction of my family. But, we finally had some joy, in our lives now. But it could be taken from us, so easily. I couldn't lose my family, again. I couldn't live another day, looking into Emmett's defeated eyes, and I wouldn't stand to lose Haley, ever!

"Aunt Wosa-we….why are you sad?" Haley sang, as her eyes sparkled with love. My breath caught, _she knows who I am?_ It was at that moment the world ceased to exist and the only thing, I had in this world was her. I love Emmett, I do; but I could survive if he no longer existed. It would be hard, but I could do it….but her?….no, there is no way I would survive loosing her. My eyes filled with venom that would never fall, as I shuffled towards, my saving grace, with arm held wide. Her sweet chubby hands, reached out for me, longing to be in my arms, as much as I longed for her to be.

"Come here baby-girl" I cried, as I finally reached her. Esme smiled a watery smile, at me before relinquishing her prized possession. I clutched Haley tight to my chest. Her small arm and hand wrapping tightly around my neck, while her other patted me softly on the back. I smelled her scent, it was a mixture sun warmed freesia and gardenia, with a splash of orange blossom. It was a mouth watering scent, but not in a "I hunger for your blood" way; no, it was in a "I could sniff you all day, if you don't think that's creepy", kind away; it was a smell that just relaxed my body and made me feel truly at home.

"Are you ok aunt Wosa-we?" Haley whispered into my ear.

"I am now Baby-girl, I am now" I whispered back, as I pulled myself together; I refuse to waste the time I have with her on sadness, I repeated to myself internally. And with that I turned and walked back into the house; and headed straight for the kitchen.

"Oh goody, I was hungry" Haley giggled as I walked towards the refrigerator.

"Good, lets feed you then" I giggled right back, and shifted her to my left hip.

"I like grapes" she said with a head nod, as if she had made a final decision; and I laughed.

"Ok…well lets see what Grandpa bought at the store alrighty?" I sang sweetly as I opened the refrigerator and glanced at my curious family members that where trying to nonchalantly file into the large kitchen.

"Oh that's disgusting" I said as the first whiff of human food flew from the opened door and entered my senses; and I just as quickly slammed the door shut.

"What was wrong? Is something old?" Haley's eyes pleaded with concern; and my family members who will forever be named 'traitors' laughed.

"Oh nothing baby-girl, just uh…umm" I sighed and tried to think of an explanation, and Emmett laughed.

"Yes something is very very very old and very Rotten in this kitchen" I smiled sweetly at her, and then glared at Emmett.

"Oh" she said slowly and softly while nodding her head, as if in complete understanding and agreement.

"So, grandpa….what did you buy at the store?" I laughed as I turned and faced Carlisle.

"Ummm food" He laughed.

"Ok…like what kind of food…Why don't you name off things you bought, and Haley can tell us what she wants from that list" I smiled, glad I had found a way around, dealing with the stinky refrigerator for a long period of time.

"Of course….some very healthy 9 grain bread and lean turkey meat for sandwiches, oatmeal, tofu, salmon filets, brown rice….and for snack time baby carrots and snap peas" he said quite proud of himself, sounding like the good doctor he is. I turned my attention back to Haley.

"Well Haley…anything sound good?" I asked eagerly. She just stared at me wide eyed and silent. While Tanya's laughter sounded through the front door.

"Here" Tanya laughed as she placed an extremely large ice chest on the counter.

"What's that?" I asked.

"This" She said as she pointed at the ice chest. "Is food Haley, will actually want to eat….Hold your breath Rose" She rolled her eyes and acted like her normal 'I better than everyone else self' _Bitch!_

"Ok, starting with breakfast…Oatmeal is fine but not without bananas and walnuts. Haley likes captain crunch WITH crunch berries; never without crunch berries. She also likes chocolate milk, I found these neat little packets that contain all kinds of vitamins and protein, so just pour a packet into a regular glass of milk and 'vola good for her chocolate milk. For lunch, peanut butter and jelly on WHITE bread, make sure to take off the crusts, and for the doctors sanity, this white bread is actually whole grain and has extra iron in it. She loves Doritos with her lunch, but I've got her hooked on these apple chips now. Capri suns are a must, don't ever run out of them. If you run out of peanut butter and jelly; and trust me you will, tuna fish sandwiches are the next best thing; oh and don't try to get all fancy and get online to find recipes for this stuff, she wont like it…for tuna fish, just add a bit of mayonnaise and slap it in between two slices of bread. The least amount of stuff you put in her food the better. Haley loves fruit but not many veggies…how ever, ranch dressing covers up most of the 'bad taste' and she'll eat pretty much any veggie with it. For dinner…you'll never get her to eat salmon or any other kind of fish, other than tuna fish out of a can, so go with chicken nuggets, chicken breasts, hamburgers, hotdogs, maybe cook a pot roast, or make tacos, she loves tacos…oh and macaroni and cheese, if she refuses to eat anything…and she will…make some mac and cheese and she'll quickly change her mind….and everything else is just fillers or snacks…hot coco and marshmallows, granola bars, dried fruits, nuts, some kinda sugary stuff called fruit by the foot, graham crackers…" She listed off the items as she pulled each out of the ice chest, showed it to everyone and then placed it in the pantry or refrigerator.

"Well thank you very much Tanya, ummmmn…we don't have much experience with.." Carlisle began to say.

"Oh neither did we…trial and error was our motto…but we caught on quickly and the 'smell' was easy to get used to…we learned so much even only having her these past few days…plus it helped taking her to grocery store with us; and every woman in a grocery store is willing to help a 'lost aunt who is well, lost'; seriously use that line" Tanya laughed as she handed Haley a Capri Sun.

"May I have a PB and J now please?" Haley asked after a long sip through the tiny yellow straw.

"PB and J?" I asked

"PB and J?" Emmett, Carlisle, and Esme all asked at the same time; Tanya and Haley laughed.

"Peanut butter and Jelly…but don't feel bad I was clueless too when she said it the first time" Tanya laughed out.

"Here, I'll make it" Esme sang out as she hopped off her bar stool, and began to make Haley a sandwich.

"Ummmm…well ok, I'm going to head home, and let you all get better acquainted" Tanya said sadly while shuffling her feet and looking at Haley.

"Your leabing?" Haley said just as sadly.

"Yes honey, I have to go take care of Carmen and Eleazar, who else is going to cook for them?" Tanya smiled.

"Oh ok" Haley said.

"Cook for them?" I asked carefully; Tanya smiled viciously.

"Well of course Rose…I hope you like PB and J's, and Mac and Cheese…you'll be EATING a lot of it from now on" She slyly sang out while raising an eyebrow daring me to question her.

"Umm, Haley why don't you say goodbye to Tanya while I have a word with everyone ok?" I smiled sweetly, even though I was gagging inside.

"Ok" She said in between bites of the PB and J, Esme had handed to her seconds before.

"We'll be right back Baby-girl" I said over my shoulder while practically dragging Carlisle out the front door.

"Dude seriously, I'm not eating shit!…if it aint alive and full of blood, I aint touching it" Emmett practically roared as he shut the door behind us.

"Yeah I'm not going to be forcing myself to throw up three times a day Carlisle, I was bulimic when I was alive, and I'm not giving myself a eating disorder now when it doesn't help my figure in anyway" I said sternly and sarcastically.

"Now kids, I'm sure Tanya was mistaken, there's no way your father would ever-" Esme was cut off by Carlisle.

"You will be eating human food…all of you" He stated as if it was final.

"WHAT?" We all yelled.

"Listen…we have to respect Bella at this point…we have no idea if she wants Haley to know about our kind, and so, until she wakes up, and makes that decision we have to play along, and be as normal as we can for Haley" He almost whispered while rubbing the back of his neck and scuffing the cement with his shoe.

"I understand and agree…though I'm not happy about it…I agree" Esme said quietly as she patted Carlisle's arm.

"But can't we just like…I don't know…Pretend?" Emmett whined.

"Yeah, I mean-" Carlisle cut me off this time.

"Look…it's the one thing we can do for Bella right now…we can take care of her child and give Haley a normal loving home until Bella wakes… up ok?" Carlisle pleaded.

"Well Hell! When you put it that way…" Emmett pouted.

"Ok, but I'm thin, which means I don't eat much" I said as I flipped my hair over my shoulder and stomped back into the house.

Haley was perched up on the counter with Tanya standing next to her. Haley was swinging her legs back and forth and animatedly talking to Tanya while waving her half eaten sandwich around.

"Yup I told her Aunt Tanya, I did! I said Momma they will come for us one day…and see! They did! I'm so happy! And when Momma wakes up, she will be too…I know it"

"Oh Honey, that's just wonderful" Tanya beamed at the beautiful child next to her.

"Hey there munchkin, what are you doing in here?" Emmett said behind me as he rushed into the kitchen and swooped Haley up off the counter and into his arms while she giggled and squirmed around.

"Ok well give me a hug so I can get going" Tanya said as she wrapped her arms around Haley even though she was in my Husband's arms.

"Bye Aunt Tanya…I love you" Haley giggled as she hugged Tanya back.

"Umm ok then…I'll put her car seat in the garage before I leave; and I'll talk to you soon" Tanya said sadly as she trudged to the front door.

"Tanya" Carlisle yelled after her.

"Yes?" She said sadly as she turned around to face him.

"Thank you…thank you for everything" He said as he placed a hand over his heart.

"Your welcome, but I still don't forgive you guys" she quickly as she spun around and walked out the door, leaving Esme, Carlisle, and I stunned into silence; and Emmett and Haley laughing and giggling in their own little world.


	10. She's Sleeping

**Yay! the story is finally coming together….Im sorry for the slow start, but I think these beginning chapters are vital, I hope you like them none-the-less….and if you haven't guessed this story will be long ….**

**Chapter 10. She's sleeping…**

Brighteyes, "Kathy With a K"

_Love is Real_

_It is not _

_Just in novels or the movies_

_It is fact_

_And it is standing here right in front of you_

_So if you open your eyes_

_What a sweet discovery_

_There is hope and there is joy and there is acceptance_

_So now let all the light that collects on your plants keep you warm _

_Make you smile_

_And I will be there with this pen in my hand to record_

_All the while_

_You'll be laughing so loud the house would shake with sound_

_And everything will be as new as the day it was found/_

_Love is real _

_It is not just in long distance commercials _

_Or something that you thought you felt back in high school_

_So I will turn _

_Black and white_

_Become that horoscope your reading_

_It predicts something good is on its way_

_And then I will send you the world green and blue _

_In a box through the mail_

_You can open it up _

_Hold it right in your hand and be glad that its there _

_And be glad that you're there_

_Now you can feel all the knots in your stomach start to untie_

_An suddenly it's not so hard to say you're alright/_

_Love is real _

_It is not_

_Just in poetry and stories_

_It is truth_

_And it will follow you _

_Everywhere you go from now on_

_So if you would just cast off your doubt_

_Then you lips would answer for you _

_Oh my darling when you smile_

_It's like a song_

_And I can hear it now…_

Rosalie's POV

"BUT WILL SHE BE SAFE" I repeated for the fifth time to Carlisle.

"Rosalie Lillian Hale Cullen I am ashamed of you…we are family! And I refuse to allow you, to hold some kind of grudge against Jasper" Esme snapped at me.

"It's not 'some kind of grudge', its actual concern" I whined, feeling like a scolded child.

"I assure you Jasper has better control over his bloodlust than most of us in this room; if you had cared to stay in touch with your brother and sister, or maybe even care to ask where they were or what they were up to…you'd know they have been living with the Quileute tribe, because Alice can't have visions while around them, and Jasper has been helping them with their strategies for fighting vampires, as they've helped him overcome and control his bloodlust issues" Carlisle said as-a-matter-factly and a little pissed off.

"Oh well that's great! So now they'll be able to kill us easier!" Emmett groaned, and added "What a pansy traitor" under his breath, though we all heard it.

"Actually, Emmett…our treaty is stronger than it has ever been…and I wouldn't be exaggerating if I said, we don't necessarily need to call it a treaty, since they have accepted our family as allies and friends, not enemies anymore" Carlisle said smugly

"Oh…well changes everything" Emmett said quietly as he walked over to the couch Haley was napping on. He then reached out and gently moved her curls from hiding her face. Everyone was silent as we watched him; it nearly broke my heart. I could never give him a child to love like this, and he would never be a dad because I took that from him.

"But I get to be an Uncle and you get to be an Aunt, Rose" I heard Emmett whisper softly, and with that I smiled. Yes, we would never be parents, but we had a chance to be an Aunt and Uncle; a chance we never dreamed of having.

"I know" I said beaming a smile at my perfect husband.

"So how long does this take?" Emmett asked Carlisle while pointing at a sleeping Haley.

"What do you mean Emmett"? Carlisle asked with humor in his voice.

"This! This 'Napping' thing….I mean when will she wake up and want to play" Emmett asked like a whining child.

"Well it depends, every child is different…she may take a few short naps during the day…or one long one…I'm not sure…but she's not a toy Emmett, and she does have to rest at times….don't break her, we cant buy a new one" Carlisle laughed at the end, causing Esme and myself to laugh also, and Emmett to roll his eyes and pout.

"Funny you guys, real funny" Emmett pouted more.

"Oh Honey you father is just teasing you, he has missed you dearly….I've missed you dearly….we both have missed you both-" Esme said sweetly but was cut off by a 'RING' of the door bell.

"That's weird, nothing comes out here…except us and the Denali's" Carlisle said cautiously as he and the rest of us rose from our seats.

"What about Jasper and Alice…it could be them" I whispered as we all walked towards the front door in a huddle.

"No, they wont be here for a few more hours right honey?" Esme whispered while crouching in a defensive stance behind Carlisle.

"Right…I told them to arrive around 4:00pm" Carlisle whispered back, crouching and placing his hand on the door knob. Emmett and I crouched as well as the doorbell rang once again.

"I'm going to go stand by Haley, if anything thing-" I whispered as I ran silently back to the living room.

"Yeah…uh thanks Rose…glad you have my back" Emmett whispered back annoyed.

"Oh zip it…your just pissed you didn't think of it first" I snapped back whispering.

"Everybody ready?" Carlisle whispered again.

"yes" We all whispered back.

He slowly opened the door and instantly stood up straight; causing us to do the same. "Hello young man, how may I help you, your sure a long way from town?" Carlisle asked in his professional voice.

"Uh I…ummm….is this the Cullen residence?" The boy stammered.

"Yes, it is, I am Carlisle Cullen and this is my wife Esme, and my adopted son Emmett and his wife Rosalie" Carlisle said politely as he wrapped an arm around Esme, and opened the door completely.

"Oh good…ummm, I'm here to deliver some stuff" The boy stammered.

"Stuff?…deliver? I didn't know anyone delivers out here" Carlisle asked confused.

"Well I don't know of anyone that does either…but I received a phone call around 6:30am from a Mrs. Alice Cullen…she found my number off of Craig's list, I own a moving truck…ya know when people move to other states and stuff….well I don't own it, my dad does but he's" The boy began to ramble.

"Oh sorry, no need explain, the name Alice Cullen says enough honey…I'm sure she not only woke you up at around 6:30am but a lot of people" Esme laughed.

"Yeah, the amount of money she offered to pay me…..she just told me where to park and that people would be coming, which did they ever…and then take hwy 1, to hwy 3, and if she hadn't told me the exact mile where the turn off to this road was, I would have never found it…why do you live way out here, it takes forever to drive to town!"

"This is a vacation home" Carlisle laughed.

"Carlisle, Emmett will you help this poor boy unload his truck please, I'll make him something to eat, I'm sure that drive made him hungry" Esme sang.

"Or you just want to play 'Caring Granny' and cant wait until Haley wakes up…your just as bad as Emmett" I teased her in a voice so low and fast the delivery boy was none the wiser.

"We'll just be unloading it off the truck, we have family coming and they'll help put it in the house ok?" Carlisle said as he patted the boy's back gently and followed him outside. 40 minutes later the truck was unloaded, only with thanks to Esme's distraction techniques; a little tea here, lemon aide there, and a PB and J, Emmett and Carlisle had the truck unloaded in pure amazement by the boy, yet without him ever seeing their vampire speed or strength.

When the boy was on his way down the road, we all walked outside to see what exactly Alice had delivered. "What did Alice buy?" I laughed as I walked around a large brown box.

"I'm not sure….I think its stuff for Haley" Carlisle said, shaking his head in amusement.

"But I thought she couldn't have visions right now" Emmett asked confused.

"Oh come on! We all know for a fact Alice had Jasper start the car, and was hopping in it and headed to Portland to shop for things for this trip while she was still on the phone with Carlisle…she probably had a vision once they left the reservation, and started shopping on her lap top or even her cell phone…Hell probably both!…that girl is capable of anything that can be orchestrated and or bought with money" I laughed, and my family nodded in agreement.

" Do you think she knows about Bella?" Emmett suddenly asked.

"Well…I don't think so…we haven't made any decisions, and either has Bella…so I'm sure any and all visions only include Haley" Esme said sweetly, and sadly.

"True" Carlisle said.

"So should we put this inside? Or…" Emmett questioned.

"Yeah, lets just put it in the suite on the left, upstairs…the one with the large bathroom that has that big bathtub…Alice can…well 'do her thing' when she gets here." Carlisle laughed. And with that we began to move boxes, and bags, baskets. We even moved a couple buckets of paint that had a diagram of the room taped to them, with instructions. So we diverted the boxes bags and baskets to the adjoining room and of course quickly painted the room's walls. Three walls were painted a creamy white; one was painted a light green which actually was a chalk board paint. When we finished, we slid open the extremely large windows at the end of the room, to air it out; and placed a few fans and heaters to shorten the drying time. Carlisle and Emmett began to open furniture boxes and put the furniture together; and as they finished the large book case, we heard Jasper and Alice's car driving up the driveway.

As Carlisle, Emmett, and I ran past the kitchen where Esme and Haley were making something called S'mores, Haley yelled out "No running in the house!" and we all halted. We turned around slowly, stunned that she even saw us run past her.

"Oh Shit, Carlisle, what do we say?" Emmett said under his breath.

"I'm not sure" Carlisle whispered back.

"Is something wrong?" Haley questioned at our wide eyes and blank faces.

"Uh…" Emmett began.

"You see Haley.." Carlisle added.

"Oh you caught us baby-girl…we were racing…and we are super fast…because…"I began.

"Because….we were uh" Emmett rubbed the back of his neck.

"We were…we were…"

"They were seeing who could be the fastest! And everyone is super fast in this family. But it's a super duper big secret; can you keep a super duper secret?" Alice sang from the door way, Jasper smirking beside her.

"Yes" Haley nodded with her answer.

"Good, thank you sweets" Alice smiled.

"Thanks Alice" Carlisle whispered.

"No problem, I saw it coming…but who what and where?" She said with gritted teeth and a smile, as she took off her overly large hat. _Does she think she's Audrey Hepburn or something?_

"Well you see….what had happen was…" Emmett began.  
"Hey Aunt Awice!" Haley screamed as she squirmed off a bar stool and ran right to Alice. Haley wrapped her arms around Alice's legs, as Alice's eyes grew to the size of saucers, and a 'What the Fuck?' look, painted her face.

"Yay, yay, yay, yay!" Haley yelled jumping up and down.

"uhhh…" Alice was still in shock.

"Oh Aunt Awice, I knew you'd be here, I just knew it…! Oh I love you I love you I love you" Haley sang out, while clutching a shocked Alice's legs.

"Well well well Little darling….and who are you?" Jasper inquired as he squatted down to Haley's level.

"Silly, I'm Haley uncle Jaspurr" Haley giggled as she let go off Alice's legs and practically mauled Jasper, causing him to fall backwards and her on top of him.

My first reaction was to lunge towards Jasper, all I could think was him sucking every bit of life from….well…from my life; but as I lunged, something grabbed my arms. I growled as my head whipped towards whatever was holding be back; you could say I wasn't thinking, because all that ran through my mind was "SAVE HER" on a loop. But as I caught a glimpse of what/who was holding me, my mind quickly registered it was Carlisle. He stood behind me, with an heir of calm around him, and as my eyes pleaded for him to release me, he slowly shook his head no; and as the terror I felt receded and I was aware of things around me, I heard giggling. Now I guess it wouldn't be called 'giggling' since it was coming from a grown man; some might call it 'chuckling'; but I cross my un-beating heart, Jasper, Mr. serious military man, was giggling like a four year old.

Jasper was laying on his back being 'tickled' by Haley, and to say I had never seen him really happy, would be an understatement; though he had Alice, he had a total tortured thing going on, it was more depressing that Edward's crap. He was tortured by what he had done in Maria's army, he was tortured by the constant emotional rollercoaster that being around groups of people gave him, and that was all before his actions concerning a certain birthday party came along, and the emotions of a grieving family after it . Everyone including myself, surrounded the adorable scene, in awe. Though Jasper, was a part of our family and had been for a very long time, he usual stayed secluded, and never really interacted with the family much. If he wasn't by Alice's side, he was in his room reading or painting, it was his way of getting back and remembering the life he had lost. Most of the books in his large collection were from the civil war era or written about the civil war era. And the only paintings he has ever painted; to my knowledge; was scenes of his life before he was turned.

"Ok seriously what's going on, you guys… why is a human child calling me Aunt and Jasper Uncle?" Alice questioned under her breath.

"Well, Alice….meet Haley….your niece…..and Bella's four year old daughter" Carlisle said slowly, and kinda unsure of himself.

"Bella" Alice choked out as she fell to her knees with a defeated look on her face.

"Alice?…Alice Darlin'?…what's wrong?" Jasper questioned confused, as he walked on his knees towards Alice, with Haley riding piggyback.

"B…Bel…Bella" Alice managed to choked out, and smiled an oddly watery smile.

"Bella?" Jasper asked slowly ,his eyebrows scrunching together.

"Ha..Haley's…Bella's…baby" Alice said slowly, and Jasper's confused shocked face, turned up in a big 'ol Texas grin. Alice, started nodding up and down, as if she was starting to realize it was true. Then suddenly she jumped to her feet, her face glowing with happiness. "Where is she? Is she at the store? When will she be back? I can't wait to see her, we have so much catching up to do-" She stopped mid sentence as Jasper gently grasped her hand, after slowly rising to his feet.

"Darlin'" The pain that quickly erased the happiness appeared, and he looked to us for an answer; he could feel our pain, our worry, our anger.

"What? What's wrong Jasper?" Alice said smiling still.

"I…I don't think…" He said trying to be strong for Alice; as he moved a squirming Haley to his hip; and Alice gasped.

"She's not…not…she can't be…..she just can't be….D-" Alice cried out.

"No, she not" Carlisle said quickly, and Jasper and Alice's heads turned to him.

"Then where is Bella?" Alice asked intensely.

"Momma's sleeping Aunt Awice…don't be sad, she was just really tired" Haley said as her chubby hand reached out and patted Alice's cheek.


	11. Home

Hey everyone! Who is surprised I finally uploaded a chapter? Thank every single one of you that has added me as a Fav; I apologize sooooo much for taking as long as I have to started writing again. I've had a lot of personal issue going on, a divorce for one, moving into Hollywood, for another…and a string of unfortunate events. SO…I am glad to be back on here, I love every single one of you, expect the bitchy girl who said I sucked for having lyrics in my chapters, to her I say "blow me"…I have a few more chapters already written, but I have a bad case of writers block. But I promise to work diligently and start post chapters every week….SO once again thank you for all the added FAVs, as well as you die-hards that have been waiting and pleading for me to continue…Here's the next chapter I hope you love it, if you have ANY ideas, or comments, PLEASE message me, I love to hear from you, it's a HUGE inspiration. Oh and I don't own the characters, except Haley…she's mine! lol

**Chapter 11. Home**

Weezer "Butterfly"

_Yesterday I went outside _

_with my mama's mason Jar, _

_Caught a lovely butterfly,_

_When I woke up today _

_Looked in on my fairy pet_

_She had withered all away_

_No more sighing in her breast/_

_I'm sorry for what I did_

_I did what my body told me to_

_I didn't mean to do you harm_

_Every time I pin down what I think I want it slips away_

_The goal slips away/_

_Smell you on my hands for days_

_I can't wash away you scent_

_If I'm a dog then you're a bitch _

_I guess you're as real as me_

_Maybe I can live with that_

_Maybe I need fantasy_

_Life of chasing butterfly/_

_I'm sorry for what I did_

_I did what my body told me to_

_I didn't mean to do you harm_

_Every time I pin down what I think I want it slips away_

_The goal just slips away/_

_I told you I would return_

_When the robin makes his nest_

_But I aint never coming back _

_I'm sorry _

_I'm sorry _

_I'm sorry_

Jasper's POV

"You can't leave Jasper, it won't change anything" Alice said as she placed her tiny hand on my shoulder.

I had been standing starring out the window ever since I had read Bella's journal. Though Bella had said that she didn't blame me, and had forgiven me the moment it had happened; I didn't. I never hated myself and what I was, more than I did that night. I loved Bella. She brought peace and happiness into my life. Yes, Alice brought love, joy, and a future to me; but Bella had given my family a fresh breath of air. For once I wasn't burdened with Edward's self hatred, his deep sadness, and his longing. Even the good moments I had with Alice, were always tainted, with his emotions. He wanted what we all had; he wanted love, a life, a partner; and Bella gave him that.

With Bella's arrival, my life changed. I experienced the feelings of "new love" again, and it made me fall deeper in love with my Alice. I found humor, in Edward's emotions on a daily basis; and for once, I truly felt like a brother, and a son. But the monster I am, the monster I had tried to overcome for years couldn't be stifled. And when I was taken outside, and able to breath fresh clean air, I was able to realize, I had in one second, destroyed my family. I could feel, Edward's pain, disgust, and finality, as he came outside to talk to me. As he told me, what happen was to be expected, and that it was not my fault. I tried to leave that night. I thought that without the threat of the "crazed blood hungry Jasper', my family wouldn't have to loose Bella. But Alice stopped me the same way she was trying to stop me now; my heart couldn't bear it. I had caused my Alice, to loose the one real friend she ever had. I had caused Edward to loose the love of his life. I had destroyed my family, and it was time I did something for them; even if leaving the love of my life was that something.

"You will not leave me, Jasper Whitlock" Alice said in a stronger voice.

"This is the one thing I can do, to make up for what I have done" I said sadly, refusing to look at her.

"YOU, have done nothing Jasper…Please don't leave"

"I haven't done anything?…Please Alice! Not only have I destroyed this family, and am the reason for Edward's shattered heart….but I caused Bella, so much pain…I took Edward from her, I'm the reason we left her, and that makes me the reason she didn't have anyone there to protect her when…when…when EVERYTHING happened to her…you can't stand there and ask me to stay Alice…I owe them this much…I owe her this much and so much more" I said through gritted teeth.

"Jasper…It's not your fault, no one blames you…Bella didn't even blame you…Please Jasper, please" Alice pleaded.

"I can't Alice, I just can't" I tried to make her understand.

"Jasper, I need you stay…I can't go through this alone…none of us can…we all need each other right now…you can't go" she continued her pleas

"Alice I have-" I was cut off by a little sad voice that nearly broke my heart, more than it was already.

"Uncle Jaspurrr you can't go by by…" A little Haley said sadly from my side. I glanced down at the most exquisite child I have ever seen. And there she was, her big vivid green eyes, shining with tears, her colorful bouncy curls framing her cherub face, and her popsicle red colored lips quivering, and her desert that she was allowed after she had finished her dinner melting down her arm.

"Oh little Darling…I have to go" I said sadly as I reached down and pulled her into an embrace, before standing and clutching her to my side.

"But…but...but….I waited for a weally weally long time for you to come uncle Jaspurrr….Mommy's not awake yet…don't go by by, I don't want you to go…I want you to stay here forever with me….what about jack?" She began to cry and hid her face in my chest as her body wracked with sobs.

"Jack" I repeated softly, as I remembered a passage in Bella's Journal. It was a dream Haley had, one of her dreams where she spent the day with me. I had bought her a pony that she named jack. I had taught her to ride, and rope, 'Like a real cowboy', as Haley had put it. And I don't know if it was the memory of the passage and the imagery I had when I read those passages, or just the crying angel in my arms, begging me not to leave, in between sobs; but I knew at that moment, that I couldn't leave…no, I'd never leave. I needed Haley, as much as she thought she needed me to stay. My family…yes….MY family needed me too; we all needed each other. We needed each others love and support to do the RIGHT thing for Bella, regardless of the consequences. If leaving wasn't an option than I would do whatever it will take to make up for what I had created; I was not ever, going to let Bella down again. And to be honest, I was kidding myself, thinking I could leave in the first place; how could I have ever left this amazing gift, that called me Uncle Jaspurr?

"Your just a big 'ol softy, Uncle Jaspurr" Alice giggled as she wrapped her tiny arms around Haley and I.

"Yeah, Yeah whatever Aunt Awice" I chuckled back, as I held on to the two most important people in life.

"Ok seriously…your hoggin the munchkin, and if I don't get to play with her before she does that napping thing again-" Emmett huffed as he walked down the stairs, but was cut off by Carlisle.

"How may times do I have to remind you she's not a Toy Emmett" I heard Carlisle's voice ring from upstairs.

"Besides, it's 7:00pm, and it's time for a bath and then it's bedtime" Rosalie chimed in, as she flew down the stairs, heading straight for us.

"But I haven't gotten to even hold her yet" Alice said, releasing me and stomping her foot.

"So what, it aint my fault you weren't here" Emmett said indignantly, as he pushed; yes, pushed his wife out of the way.

"Are you freakin kidding me Emmett" Rosalie yelled as she picked herself off the floor and brushed off the imaginary dirt from her pants.

"Rosalie, I get to give Haley a bath, I haven't had any time with her" Alice practically yelled as she walked towards an approaching Emmett, and a Rosalie, slightly behind him.

"Nope, it's my turn" Emmett whined.

"You can't give her a bath, she's a girl" Alice yelled.

"So" Emmett huffed.

"So, you can't bath her…it's just something that…well…you aren't giving her a bath" Rosalie stated in finality.

"Exactly; and since I just spent the last hour decorating her room, its my turn" Alice said while stomping her foot again.

By this time I had swiftly walked past them and almost all the way up the stairs, Haley still sniffling into my shirt. Their bickering continued as I walked towards Haley's newly decorated room. As I reached the door, I noticed her name spelled out in soft pink, creamy white and soft green colored letters. I turned the doorknob and opened the door. It was like walking into an old English garden. At the far wall that had recently been painted a beautiful creamy white color, there were three extremely large windows, framed by creamy white billowing curtains trimmed in a soft pink. There was a large soft pink colored couch, two large fluffy soft green colored chairs and a creamy white ottoman.

The creamy white, left wall of the room had a queen size bed against it, with a large headboard, and dust ruffle that were both creamy white with green polka dots. The sheets a creamy white, the comforter a soft pink, and the mound of pillows all different variations of polka dots and solids of creamy white, soft pink, and soft green. There was a large white crystal chandelier hanging above the bed. On each side of the bed there were creamy white tables, with beautiful soft pink fake roses, in soft green vases.

The right wall of the room was painted a soft green, that was actually a giant chalk board. On the bottom of the wall, stickers of shrubs and flowers were placed, making it look like an Old English garden. Even the door to the large bathroom looked as if it was a picture of a garden. There was a large short creamy white table with four chairs, that was littered with containers full of chalk, makers, crayons, pencils, glue, and various other art related items. There was also a large green ottoman that could have been mistaken for a shrub; I guessed it was some sort of toy box.

On the creamy white wall that contained the door to the closet and the door I had just walked through, was a very large soft pink book shelf, that was actually a structure of cubbies/square shelves. Some shelves held creamy white or soft green fabric baskets, some where filled with picture frames all different variations of polka dots and solids of creamy white, soft pink, and soft green. Some where left empty and some were filled with various books. Scattered throughout the whole room were large rugs, that looked like circular patches of grass. The room in one world was fairytale.

My insane family was still bickering as I muttered "Good job Alice" under my breath, as I took in the room.

"What Uncle Jaspurr?" Haley sniffled as she lifted her head from my chest. Her breath caught and her sniffles instantly disappeared.

"Do you like you new room Haley" I whispered, as I watched her eyes roam the room.

"It's mine?" She asked quietly.

"Yup, all yours…Aunt Alice made it for you" I whispered, as I sat her down on her feet. And I watched her run around the room touching everything, in complete awe. She kept muttering "so pretty", and I softy chuckled each time. As I walked to her closet and grabbed a pair of her pajamas that of course matched her room, I heard my family realize Haley and I were no longer downstairs. I walked over to her bed and placed her Pj's at the foot of it, then took a seat in the creamy white and soft pink rocking chair, next to the bed. Haley ran to me and hopped onto my lap, and turned those huge green eyes on me.

"Your not going away are you uncle Jaspurr?" She asked sadly.

"No Darling, I'm not, I couldn't leave you if I wanted to" I whispered to her softly as I tapped the tip of her nose with my finger.

"Good" She said replicating my signature Texas grin; which just made me fall in love with her even more.

"Well I see you like your room" Alice said softly as she walked into her masterpiece of a bedroom.

"It's so big and pretty" Haley said happily.

"Well thank you…I was pretty sure you'd like it" Alice trilled as she bounced onto the bed.

"It is lovely Alice" Esme said as she entered the room, everyone nodding agreeing and following behind her.

"I dunno….its pretty girly" Emmett murmured.

"She a girl you ass" Rosalie said as she reach up and slapped Emmett on the back of the head twice.

"What was that for?" Emmett whined

"One was for you being an idiot, the other was for pushing me earlier" Rosalie said as she crossed her arms and dared Emmett to challenge her.

"Rosalie Hale! Watch your language" Esme scolded.

"But I-" Rosalie countered

"Yup see…she's a bad influence, and that's why I, should get the munchkin" Emmett snipped.

"Oh you got to be kidding me Emmett-" Alice jumped up her hands balled up in fist and her foot stomping at the injustice.

"Enough everyone" Carlisle's voice rang with authority. "Thank you…well Haley my little precious girl…it's a sad day when your aunts and uncles can't act like adults, so grandpa Carlisle has devised a plan" Carlisle said walking towards Haley's art table and grabbing a piece of pink chalk.

I think I heard Emmett cough 'looser' into his hand about the same time, Haley asked, " Deveyesssd?"

"Ummm, right…I made up a plan." Carlisle smile

"Ohhh" Haley said slowly.

" I made up a plan, so you get to spend lots of time with everyone, and don't get stuck in the middle of their bickering…You see everyday is a different person's day, and each morning and night, a different girl gets to bath and dress you…it's all fair and equal…now if you decide Haley that you want to do something with someone else other than the person who's day it is, that is ok and the rotation with stop and restart the next day with whoever's day it had been…" Carlisle said proud of himself and his quick charting skills.

"Huh?" Haley giggled, causing all of us to laugh.

"She's 4 Carlisle" Emmett said irritated, which made us all laugh harder.

"Oh right…well, precious you don't really need to know the logistics of it…just Alice will start the Bathing rotation, and Emmett spent the most time with you so he gets to tuck you in bed as he started the first day rotation"

"So I have to wait a whole 5 days to play again?" Emmett whined.

"Unless Haley decided she wants to play with you" Carlisle chuckled.

"Don't worry Uncle Whenmet, I'll play with you" Haley said softly from my lap.

"Awwww, isn't that sweet, she feels sorry for you" Rosalie chuckled.

"Ok ok, enough lets, give Alice and Haley some privacy, Emmett Alice will come get you, so you can read Haley a bedtime story…come on now" Esme's motherly voice rang out with soft authority, as she stood and shooed everyone out of the room.

" I love you precious, have fun with your Aunt Alice" I said softly as I kissed the top of her head, and breathed in her scent, it was a mixture sun warmed freesia and gardenia, with a splash of orange blossom. If there had been and undertone of Magnolia, she would've smelled like my childhood in the summer; at least what I remember of it, either way, she smelled like HOME.


	12. Sadness, Strength and a Vision

This chapter was hard for me to write because I love Alice, and I Loved her relationship and love for Bella…so..anywho, I hope you like it! Review please!

**Chapter 12. Sadness, Strength and a Vision.**

Decemberists, "Red Right Ankle"

_This is the story of you red right ankle _

_and how it came to meet your leg, _

_How the muscle, bone, and sinews tangled _

_And how the skin was softly shed_

_And how it whispered "Oh adhere to me, _

_for we are bound by symmetry,_

_And whatever differences our lives have been _

_We together make a limb"_

_This is the story of you red right ankle/_

_This is the story of you gypsy uncle_

_You never knew 'cause he was dead_

_And how his face was carved and ride with wrinkles _

_In the picture in you head,_

_And remember how you found the key_

_To his hideout in the Pyrenees_

_But you wanted to keep his secret safe _

_So you threw the key away_

_This is the story of gypsy uncle/_

_This is the story of the boys who loved you, _

_Who love you now and loved you then, _

_And some were sweet, some were cold and snuffed you_

_And some just laid around in bed,_

_Some had crumbled you straight to your knees_

_Did it cruel, did it tenderly_

_Some had crawled their way into your heart_

_To rend you ventricles apart_

_This is the story of the boys who loved you_

_This is the story of you red right ankle._

Alice's POV

"Momma's sleeping Aunt Awice…don't be sad, she was just really tired" Haley said softly as she reached out and patted my cheek with her chubby sticky hand.

"Tired" I murmured as my head automatically leaned into the warmth of her hand.

"I have something I need to show you both" I heard Carlisle mention sadly.

"Emmett why don't you and Rose take Haley to the kitchen and try to make her dinner…im sure it'll take some time to get it right" Esme said softly as she came up and placed a hand on my shoulder.

"Sure thing" Emmett said quickly as he rushed up and held his hands out for Haley.

"Hold on" Haley said as if she was exasperated; and then she laid her head on Jasper's shoulder and gave him a long hug. Then she lifted her head, and gave him a kiss on the cheek, while she whispered 'I love you Uncle Jasspurr'. Of course Jasper just stood there kind a stiff and stunned; he had never been around such a young child, even in his human years. So, to suddenly be around one, let alone, kissed, hugged and loved by one must be a lot to process.

I, on the other hand had loved Haley, ever since I had the vision of her birth. Not a day would go by when I would think "I wonder if she's born yet', or 'I wonder what Bella named her'. And after years of pain and frustration, here she is in my husband's arms. I thought I'd never even get to see her, and now all the sudden she's 4 years old and calling me Aunt.

Carlisle led Jasper and I to the living room. As we sat down Esme handed Jasper a large ringed book, and me a box. We both just sat there confused, just starring up at Esme and Carlisle's sad faces. I didn't know what was going on, but whatever it was it wasn't good, as I felt Jasper's body tense with emotions. Feeling quite uncomfortable I shifted the box on my lap; and that's when I smelled her. It was Bella.

I ripped the lid off the box and stared what seemed to be journals; my eyes flooded with Venom, and my lip began to tremble, for I knew I was about to find out about my long lost friend, and why her 4 year old said she was 'sleeping'.

"Alice those are Bella's journals, she started writing them not to long after we left. Jasper, that is a copy of all the journals in the box Alice is holding." Esme said sadly as she clutched onto Carlisle's arm, as if she was trying to pull strength for him.

"I'm sure you both have a lot of questions" Carlisle began.

"And-" Esme tried to finish Carlisle's sentence but a broken sob, leaped from her mouth as the first word came out. She stood there clutching onto Carlisle, trying to regain her composure, but finally, her hand flew to her mouth and she ran from the room, leaving only sounds of her strangled cries, that echoed through the house.

Carlisle cleared his throat, leaned forward a bit, rubbed his hands down the tops of his thighs, as if he was nervous and had sweaty palms, then straightened up. He nodded, like he had made a decision to continue and spoke with a quivering voice, "You'll have to excuse your mother, and myself, it's been quite an emotional day….As I was saying; I'm sure you both have a lot of questions, which I would love to answer, however I am pretty positive you'll find everything you need in those journals…I leave you both to your reading; if you still have any questions after your done, come find me and I'll answer them as best as I can". He smiled sadly, nodded his head again then swiftly walked from the room.

"Jasper I don't-" I began to whisper.

"Yes you can Alice, I'll be right here" Jasper encouraged with worry lining his face. He was just as scared and confused, as I was. Actually he was worse off; he had my emotions hitting him, along with his own.

"Ok" I said with a slight nod.

_January 21__st__. _

_They're gone. All of them. When he left he took not only my friends, but my family, my future, and my heart. I feel as if a hole has been punched through my chest. There is no way to fix it, no way it will ever heal, it will never close and scar over; no, it is a never ending, bleeding pain, that I will have to bear. But, I am thankful for the pain in a way. If it wasn't for the constant searing pain in my chest, it would be just like he said, "as if he never existed". The pain is a constant reminder of the family, and the future that I lost when he left me that day in the woods, but it is a pain I will gladly bear. _

_ For the last few months, I have done nothing. I didn't really eat, I wouldn't talk, I wouldn't listen to music, and I refused to read. Everything was a reminder of him, and I hated myself and him for it. Numbness moved in mere days after their departure, and is now a constant companion. Charlie woke me from my numbness, only a few days ago. He wanted to send me to Florida to be with Rene'e, but I refused. _

_ I have however decided to act, as normal as I can for him, because, I know that my behavior has been hardest on Charlie. So I have begun hanging out with Jake, and even accepted a movie date with Mike Newton. _

_ I wish Alice was here. I wish I could talk to her, I wish she could tell me everything will be ok, because she had seen it, but she is gone. Since she is not here for me to talk to, I think keeping a journal will help me get through each day, and will be there as a remember of my past. _

_ Of all things that I wish, I wish he had never left or at least if only I was able to say goodbye, to all of them._

_ I would have told Carlisle, that I loved him like a father. That I was lucky to have had him as my doctor, and my friend. I would tell him that, his compassion for people, had made me want to help and love more._

_ I would have told Esme that she had been more of a mother to me in the small time I knew her, than my mother had my entire life. I would have told her that I was lucky to have been a part of her family, even if it had been only for a short time. And that her love for her family had inspired me, and that someday I wished to love my children with as much passion and kindness as she did hers. _

_ I would have told Jasper that I forgave him the moment, he tried to attack me, and that it was not his fault, he was only acting on instinct. I would have told him I loved him for loving Alice, and for loving the family enough to sacrifice and suffer, like he did. I would have told him that I appreciated his laid back attitude, and that I wished we had spent more time together. _

_ I would have told Alice, that I loved her like a sister. That even though I hated to shop, I enjoyed every second with her. I would have told her that she brought happiness and a carefree feeling into my life, and that she had me feel special and important. I would have told her I was lucky to have known her, to have loved her, and to have had her in my life; and that her fashion advice did not go unheeded, and that I promise to wear mascara everyday from then on. _

_ I would have told Emmett, that I loved him like a brother, that he was the big brother I had always wished to have. I would have told him, that his antics, though they irritated me sometimes, brought color into my life, and made me look at the world differently. He made me realize that life shouldn't be so serious, that it should be filled with laughter and silliness. I would tell him that I would miss his hugs, and his laughter, but that I would always know how to protect myself now, due to his "crazy-mad" fighting skills, that he passed onto me. _

_ I would have told Rosalie, that, the day she told me about her past, was the day I finally understood who she was. I would have told her that I loved her, no matter, how she would act towards me, and that her strength and determination amazed me. That I wished someday to be as strong and independent as she was, that she inspired me to be a stronger more self confident person, or at least I was working towards that. _

_ I would have told Edward, that I loved him, that I would always love him. That I know I was never good enough for him, and that I never had wanted to hold him back. I would have told him that he was wrong, my mind may be human, but that I would never forget him, and my love for him would never lessen. _

_ I would have told them all, that I wish they would stay, but that I understood why they had to leave. It would have killed me to do these things, but, not nearly as much as never getting the chance to say goodbye. _

_ I don't know how I will survive without them; I don't know how I got through life before they became mine. I don't know what the future holds for me, nor do I really care too much to know. But what I do know and what I do care about is that I have to survive, I have to hold onto what I do have of them…of him… because if I survive, than that means I still have hope. It means I still believe in the depths of my soul, that they will come back for me someday. It might not be all of them; and I'm ok with that…I know that Edward never really had any reason to love me. I know that Emmett, Rosalie, Carlisle, Esme, and even Jasper loved me, or at least liked me. And I may in the future loose faith in them, but there is one person I will never loose faith in…Alice. _

_ I know Alice loved me, I know that with every fiber of my being. I know that someday, hopefully soon, she'll see me, and knowing my luck, I'll be in danger. And if Alice has a vision of me in danger she'll come for me, she'll save me, when none of the others will. I can not, and I will not believe she'd actually turn her back on me; and for that, I will stay alive, as best as I can, and wait for the moment she'll rush in to rescue me. _

_ With all that I have, and all that I am, _

_ B. _

My heart clenched after reading her first entry; she loved me as much as I loved her, and I walked away from that. I stupidly, allowed Edward to destroy the closest thing to a real sister I had. Don't get me wrong I had Rosalie, and I love her dearly. However, from the first vision I had of Bella in forks, and what she could bring to my family, I loved her. And when she finally began part of my family, I loved her more. I felt quite strongly that eventually Edward would allow her to be turned; and with that knowledge knew I would have a best friend as a sister for eternity.

I continued to read page by page, my heart hurting with each one. When Bella lost Charlie I all but lost it, and Jasper had to leave the room. I had to keep repeating to myself that Bella had a happy ending, and an image of her holding Baby Haley in her arms was the only thing keeping me sane. Until I reached the day of May 28th.

_ May 28__th__. _

_ I haven't written in almost a month. I don't know why I am writing right now. I should give up writing in this journal, hell, I should give up on surviving. Its so hard not to blame them, all of them…they left me….they left me unprotected, alone, and un-loved. Hell, I'm probably not even worthy of love at this point. Everyone I love leaves me anyway. _

_ So why am I writing in this worthless journal?…The therapist says I should, that's why. She says it will help me heal…it will be therapeutic…I call a bullshit on that! It hurts! It hurts so bad! I miss my dad, I would give anything to just sit across the table from him again. Id give anything to cook him diner and see the love in his eyes as I bring his plate to the table. Id like to just sleep in my old room. Stare at my window, and know that Edward would be climbing through it at any minute. I wish I could sit on the floor next to Charlie's chair and listen to his soothing snoring….but that's all gone now. EVERYTHING IS GONE NOW! _

_ Charlie is dead, he is never coming back. Jake stopped talking to me a while ago, and I have seen him since, so it's like he is dead. The Cullens are gone forever. And the one person I thought wouldn't be to bad to have in my life hates me; Mike hates me for reasons I don't fully understand. _

_ I stayed with him; I stayed with him because he was safe, and I didn't really care. I though I just had to survive life until one of THEM came back. But I was Wrong! I was so Wrong! _

_ Where were you Alice? I needed you, I screamed for you! And you never came, you never saved me! _

_ I went into Port Angles to pick of some stuff for Mike. I had just came out of that Office supply store when I saw HIM; or at least I thought it was him. He was leaning up against his silver Volvo, his bronze locks, shinning in the street lamp light. I didn't know why he would be there, why he was hanging around with drunks in front of a bar, but my heart leaped at the thought of just talking to him, one more time. I thought maybe he had come back, that maybe he realized he loved me, and was waiting for me to come out of the store. It was late, very dark, cold, and the air was wet with mist; and there he was. I placed the box of supplies in the bed of my truck and began to walk across the street towards the love of my life, and his shiny silver Volvo. Once I crossed the street and began to walked down the sidewalk towards him, four other men surrounded him, talking animatedly. That should have been my first clue. I called his name a few times, as began to walk faster towards him. But he never responded. That should have been my second clue. As I reached the small circle of drunken college boys, I tried to peer around them to see my Edward. That should have been my third clue. Finally I spoke up loudly "Edward"?. At that point the boys stopped talking and turned to face me. I asked again, "Edward is that you"? All the college boys looked at each other and evil smiles stained their faces. That should have been my fourth clue. I was still trying to see the figure, the man, my Edward between the four other figures. As I squinted my eyes I asked once again, "Edward?". _

_ It was at that moment I heard a voice from behind the college boys. "I'll be whoever you want me to be baby" The voice sickenly slurred. And as I froze in place, he walked out from behind the human shields. It wasn't Edward. This man/boy was the same height, and build as Edward, with almost the same bronze locks, however his was not nearly as shiny and brilliantly colored. His ivy colored eyes, held a menacing graze, and his smile, made my skin crawl; I took a step back. I bowed my head to sheild myself from his stare, and said something like "Im sorry I thought you were a friend of mine…I got go" as I spun around and began to walk briskly towards my truck. _

_ When I heard footsteps behind me, I began to panic. When I was grabbed I screamed, before a hand covered my mouth, and another hand began to choke me. I was drug into an alley, and I believe the only reason I didn't pass out from fear was because I just knew Alice would be there soon, I just had to hold on and be strong until then. When they began to rip my clothes from my body I began screaming for Alice. Begging her to save me. I cried out in pain as the first fist connected with my cheek. The next thing I remember he was on top of me, and the other guys were holding onto my legs and arms. And as he thrust harshly into me I began asking Alice why. _

_ How could she do this to me? Did she not love me at all? How could she know this was happening and do nothing? I trusted her, I love her, I kept faith in her after I lost faith in everything. I understood why she didn't come when Charlie died; but how could she let me be raped by five men, in a cold dirty alley. I continued to cry out for her, and ask her why until I passed out. _

_ They left me for dead…like a piece of trash…but how can I blame them? I wasn't worthy enough for my "best friend" to save me…Im surprised that bartender even bothered with me when he found me._

_ I spent some time in the hospital until I was released to Mike and his family. Mike hadn't come to visit me once in the hospital; when he came to pick me up at the hospital, he looked at me like I was disgusting. He told me it was my fault that I was raped, and if I wouldn't be such a whore, those men would have never thought twice about fucking me, besides I was ugly, and how they even wanted me at all, surprised him. He told me I was lucky he pity'd me, or he'd throw me onto the streets like the trash I was. _

_ I tried to kill myself that night. I tried to drown myself in the bathtub, but the moment of no return I couldn't do it, I don't really know why, or at least I didn't know at that moment. I tried almost everyday to kill myself, but like the first time, I was never able to go through with it. I found out today why. _

_ I pregnant…what am I going to do about it? Mike says I should get an abortion, but I can't…I thought about it, I really did, but as soon as I remembered Rosalie's story, I realized I couldn't do it. I need to be strong for my baby, Its all that I have in this world that is mine. But what am I going to do about the rest of my life?…The answer is I don't know. I have been living thinking one of THEM would come back for me, but Alice didn't think I was worth saving, and who could blame her…so now, I just have to live everyday for the life I'm carrying, and hope I'll be worthy of it._

_ With all that I am, _

_ B._**  
** I sat there in shock…what have I done? She had called out for me, she trusted that I would save her…and I didn't. Bella thought I didn't love her? But I do! I loved her everyday since we left! I loved her so much it hurt, I haven't had visions in years, because I didn't want to see her, because it hurt too much! But what have I done?

"WHAT HAVE I DONE"! I screamed out in pain, and sorrow

"Alice…it's not your fault", Carlisle said calmingly, as he say beside me and wrapped his arms around me.

"Carlisle what have I done? I destroyed her! ME! She trusted me, she waited for me, she kept faith in ME! And I let her down! I let my best friend down! I should have been there to save her! I should have went back for her! I should have checked up on her! I should have went back for her! I should have turned her myself!".

"We all blame ourselves in some way Alice, but Bella wouldn't want our pity, she would want our love and understanding". He said quietly.

"When I had that vision I didn't' know, Carlisle! I didn't know! I had been trying so hard not to 'see' her, but the decision caused the vision to be to powerful….I didn't see that she was trying to kill herself, I should've looked for her future! I don't understand Carlisle, I don't get it…she must have been so lost before she found out she was pregnant….what have I done?" I cried.

" I know Alice, we all know that". He whispered.

"I don't think I can read anymore". I cried harder.

"You have to Alice, you need to know the truth, you need to know everything…it's going to get harder, but you need to know, you won't be able to help Bella or Haley if you don't know it all…and when Edward finds out…". He bit his lip.

"Oh God Carlisle, I hate him right now, but I know this is going to destroy him, what are we going to do?" I said as I clutched to his shirt, and pleaded him to 'make it all better' with my eyes.

"We all will sit down and discuss that once you and Jasper know everything we do". He said sadly as he gently kissed my forehead, like a real dad would do in a heartbreaking moment like this.

"Ok, I'll try but stay with me please". I whispered as I turned back to the journal and began to read the next entry.

"Alice honey…I need to go check on Jasper…but I'll be back, ok?" He whispered reassuringly, as he patted my arm. And I knew he had to help Jasper, but I didn't want him to leave. But, Jasper was all ready struggling with the family's emotion and knowing my husband he would be feeling the same way I do; if not more. So he needed Carlisle more than I did; and so I simply nodded in defeat. He patted my arm again and then rose to his feet, and left.

Jasper nor Carlisle ever returned to my side, but halfway through Bella's Journals, Emmett showed up. As I sat there stunned at what I had just read…Bella had been raped, beaten, tortured, and left by everyone she loved, and tortured by Mike Newton. And she had believed in our friendship, and my love for her, more than she had trusted in Edward's. She knew he wouldn't come back for her, she thought she wasn't worthy enough to be loved by him. But she loved me as much as I loved her. She was my best friend, my sister…and I left her to be beaten and raped, in a cold, wet, dirty alley, as she begged for me to save her. I left her to deal with the death of Charlie…alone. I left her with no option, but a hateful Mike Newton.

What do you say when you know, your actions caused more pain than anyone should ever have to bear? What if that someone loved and trusted in you, and you let them down? How do you ever make up for that? How do you ever make it better? The answer is you can't. You cant fix, or change was has happened. You can't take away that pain. I could never fix what had been wronged.

I just sat starring at Emmett as he slowly walked in. My eyes, full of shock and devastation watched as he walked to the couch. His sad and remorseful eyes, looking back at me, pain colored his face as he sat next to me and gave me a sad smile. He didn't say anything, he just simply lifted me onto his lap. I returned to the horror that was Bella's life written in black and white, in the comforting arms of my brother. He whispered, "Jasper didn't want you to be alone Ally", and began to rub soothing circles on my back.

Every time I gasped out in horror, or whimpered in agony, he embraced me with his massive arms. Every time I shook my head, and whispered "no no no no", he told me its going to be ok. And as I finished not knowing exactly what happened, he was there to explain.

"He almost killed her Ally"

"Mike?" I questioned though I already knew the answer.

"Yes, Mike Fucking Newton, that pansy piece of shit…God Ally he hurt her so much" Emmett whispered and spat out at the same time; I turned to face him.

"So he just came home and beat her…what happened? Where is he? Who found her?" I pleaded.

"Well, I guess he came home, started in on her again, and because he couldn't break her spirit, he went for Haley-"

"WHAT!" I screeched, my whole body tensing for a fight.

"Whoa whoa whoa Ally, calm down….She shot him before he could." He said as he held me in place.

"So the bastard is dead? Who found Bella? Who found Haley? How did she end up here I rushed with emotion.

"From what I was told, Tanya, found her. I guess she was screwing some doctor or wanted to screw some doctor, why she cant find a freakin vampire to get it on with always con-" I cut him off, from his "dumb football player" ramblings.

"Just tell me already!" I huffed as I pinched him.

"Ok ok, geez Ally….Anywho, before I was so RUUUDELY interrupted….Tanya was at the hospital and caught a whiff of Bella's sent. Bella was in the ICU, Tanya did some snooping, found out where she lived. Went to the crime scene that was Bella's apartment, found the journals, found Haley next door at the old lady neighbors apartment, pretended she was Bella's sister, Called Carlisle, and 'vola! The rest is history…..Bella is still in the ICU, has bleeding on her brain and is in a Coma, Haley is here, Tanya is pissed at all of us….and well, Mike…Carlisle won't entertain the mention of his name…something about 'lets focus on more important issues' I think he's dead, though; Carlisle wouldn't let him stay alive after everything he did to Bella….right?"

"Well, I for sure, Hell, wouldn't…..Hell id like to find his grave, dig him up, beat the shit out of him and cut off his dick off….so im sure Carlisle wouldn't let him breathe, after reading all this" I said riled up and exasperated.

"Are you going to be ok Ally?" Emmett asked so innocently, his dimples showing even when he wasn't smiling.

"I…..I….I think I have to be Emmett….its….well…I'll never forgive myself…but it's selfish to feel bad for myself at this point….I think the best thing I can do….we all can do….is do whatever we can for Bella, and Haley right now…I'll have to deal with my own demons, later." I said as confidently as I could, even though I felt nauseous and defeated on the inside.

"I think so too…What about Edward?" He said with a raised eyebrow and the look of pure terror covering his features.

"One step at a time Emmett…I…I think im going to go finish Haley's room so she has somewhere to sleep tonight." I said quickly as I hopped from his lap and to my feet. Really I just needed to be alone, so I could think, and process everything. I needed to get myself to a place, where I was ok, with what had happened in my absence. I needed to be stable and strong, for me, for Bella, For Haley, for my family.

I rushed up the stairs and threw myself into my work, trying to create something happy and beautiful, even though the words from those journals had stirred up my soul, more than anything ever had before. Horrific images of Bella, played through my mind; and each time she was beaten and raped, I had to lean up against a wall to stop myself from crumbling. I had to continuously tell myself that I couldn't change the past, but that I could change the future; just to simply move again.

I was finishing up the room by placing adorable "grass" rugs on the floor. I had finally reached the end, of the insurmountable task of dealing and processing what I left Bella to endure, when I was hit with a vision.

Jasper packing up a few of his most prized possessions as I plead for him not to leave. The family excluding Edward, huddles in the living room, holding onto each other. Jasper not saying a word as he slowly walks down stairs, his "gift" emanating pure and utter devastation. Rosalie clutching a hysterical Haley, who cries out for her Uncle Jasper, and asks what she did and why he doesn't love her, while repeating "I'll be a good girl, I promise I'll be better, please Uncle Jaspurr".

Then a flash or Edward showing up…the house destroyed…..a flash of a court room….a flash of Haley Screaming….a flash of Bella's funeral…a flash of my family and I burning in a fire, as we stand there together, as if taking a punishment we thought we deserved….and then darkness, total and utter darkness.

I didn't know what my vision meant in it's entirety, as I came back to the 'real world'; what I did know is that I was going to be "God Damned" if I was going to loose my husband. If there was anyone I needed to stand by my side, by the family's side it was him; and if I have to kick his ass, or guilt him, or kill myself to get him to stay…I would!

I took one last look at one of my best projects, and then swiftly headed out the door, closing it behind me. I knew where I would find Jasper; he was sure to be standing, starring out the large windows, talking himself into something he really didn't want to do…he just didn't know it yet.


End file.
